CANBERRA : Treasurer Joe Hockey will unveil a brilliant scheme to turn Australia into a nation of shopkeepers, like the British once were during the reign of Queen Victoria , according to secret information given Little Darwin. Code named Plan B ( for British ), individuals will be encouraged to set up thousands of Pommie wayside inns, grog shanties , pork pie and kipper cafes along the many new infrastructure roads to be built linking cities to mothballed mines . The above sample shop , to be officially opened by a knight close to the Queen , has been established in the Never -Never and expects to do a roaring trade . It is built from unsold iron ore . Treasury says the way the economy is going , Australia's highways will soon be filled with shuffling , thirsty and hungry CFMEU swaggies all wanting to be serviced as there are no sheep to steal because of the drought and foreclosing banks .
BREAKING NEWS:
Ven der shitzen hits der fan, vee are here to protect you
There
was wild jubilation in Liberal
Party ranks here today
when the latest poll showed that
Prime Minister Tony Abbott is nearly
as popular as Louie the Fly . With lots of prayer , extreme good luck , a strong tailwind and avoidance of those sticky fly traps at wedding and fund raising parties , the PM could
overtake Louie by the Chinese New Year. Liberal
Funk Bunker spin doctor , Fred
von Waffleburger, said the rising
support for the PM is proof positive that Lefty dung beetles are on the way out
. He
reluctantly admitted that
voters in the fly blown states
of Western Australia and
South Australia want to
do what naughty
Nellie Bly did
to a fly . Meanwhile
, cleaners in parliament house have been instructed not
to spray the Cabinet room with Mortein
as this could bring down the
leader.
BREAKING NEWS:
Ven der shitzen hits der fan, vee are here to protect you
