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Exclusive first photograph of new wonder car in Central Australia red duco -filmed by Little Darwin with the aid of a war surplus drone-which will not run on petrol but something like the miraculous Bjelke-Petersen fuel.
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CANBERRA : In a secret workshop in a Tory Funk Bunker somewhere in the nation is the prototype of a government funded el cheapo car which requires no expensive petrol and will be snapped up by trendy poor people. Known as the Big Joe Flaming Fury or the Mad Monk Maserati, this new age car is the equivalent of Hitler’s Volkswagen - the so called people’s car . Little Darwin can reveal that the astonishing vehicle will almost run on hot air , hastily incinerated brown paper bags, the ash of Cuban cigars and recycled suppositories .
A motoring expert , sworn to secrecy with the help of a paper bag stuffed with healthy (wink , wink , nudge , nudge ) high fibre , says the car will soon be mass produced and cause gridlock on the network of high-speed autobahns to be built in the grandiose infrastructure plan of the PM , which will link Centrelink offices and retirement villages to scrapheaps .
The
masked motoring man claims the
car is a variation of the British Leyland Australian P76 which unfortunately crashed soon after its launch in
1973 , mainly due to the first oil shock.
An
appealing feature of the P76, known as “The Wedge” because of its shape , was
the large boot which would carry
a 44
gallon drum . This has been increased
in size so that your average homeless couple will be able to sleep in
it with their
kids, dog, portable TV and munch on stale Adelaide pie floaters once a week. An angry Coalition spin doctor, Rudy Waffleburger
, told this blog that Treasurer Joe Hockey was talking about the new
hotrod when he made
the statement that the fuel tax excise would cost beggars , chimney sweeps, matchstick sellers
and night cart contractors next to nothing
.
