Sunday, July 28, 2013

AUDACIOUS POLITICAL THEFT

Overworked  Brisbane   detectives  are   investigating  the   theft  of  the  Liberal National Party’s entire  intellectual  property.  It  was  kept   in  a  velvet- lined  thimble  in  the LNP  strongroom  along with  other   treasures, such as  Joh Bjelke-Petersen’s great invention - the  inflatable   rubber cricket  bat ( now perished),  the  secret  formula  for   turning water   into  petrol and the Gucci Bible which was the envy of Andrew Peacock.  A  dinosaur  is  helping police   in  their  investigations  as  the  thimble was  noticed   missing  after  Clive Palmer , disguised as a  CIA  agent ,  accompanied by  a  30 metre long  pet  herbivore ,  with  a  forked  tongue ,  was  seen  lurking about  the  premises . As   the  tiny  piece  of   intellectual property  is  pea  green  in  colour,  the  bellowing , windy,  greedy   dinosaur  may   have  thought   it a  noxious weed-ragwort- and   gobbled  it  down .

The  disappearance  was   discovered   when  the  naughty catheter nurse  went  to the  vault  to get a  packet of  re-usable  band  aids , kept  under lock and key  by  the  Health Department ,  for  a   politician  who  was   badly   injured  using  his  spin drier  .  As   can  be  expected , the  LNP  is   furious  about  the  theft   because  it  planned  to  use   its   priceless  intellectual  property in   a  beaut    pea  and   thimble  trick.   A    timid    vet   is   treating   the   dinosaur   suspect   for   indigestion ,   inflamed tonsils  ,  delusions   of    grandeur    and    frequent    flying .