AUSTRALIA IS NOT just a success
story — it is an anthology of success stories. Ascendancy in so many areas —
all at the same time. Europeans wish they had these
narratives. They would dance in the streets. (Actually, Europeans still dance
in the streets, despite everything.) As for Americans and Canadians, they would
lap up every word.
But here’s the thing. In Australia
these stories are seldom, if ever, told. Not a hint from a Hartcher, not a
mention from a Mitchell, not a suggestion from a Sales and not a clue from a
Crabb. Historians will ponder and explore these 15 accomplishments with wonder
and delight.
1. The Government of Michael Joseph Savage in New Zealand (1935-40) was
recently eclipsed by the Government of Julia
Eileen Gillard in Australia for the lowest rate of ministerial sackings due to
incompetence or corruption in the Westminster world. Since 1820 anyway. What
led to this? Minority government? What
else do Michael Joseph and Julia Eileen have in common?
2. Why is Australia now being urged
to lead the free world? Australia has been voted to chair the Pacific Islands Forum. Plus next year’s G20 group of the
world’s 20 major economies. That’s on top of a seat on the UN Security Council.
Everyone wants to sit next to Australia.
3. Why was Prime Minister Gillard
given that standing ovation after addressing the US Congress? Traditionally,
that honour is reserved for deputy sheriffs who follow Uncle Sam into battle.
How has this government managed to strengthen the alliance without supporting a
single invasion? What singular advantage has Australia thereby gained?
4. What precisely transformed
relations with Indonesia? Australia is no longer the target for embassy
killings, nightclub bombings, presidential invective and diplomatic insults.
Who was the man who accomplished this? Or was it a woman?
5. How has Australia dealt with the
wanton cruelty inflicted upon live sheep and cattle exported to Asia and the
Middle East? With what outcomes? And why are bulls being tortured in television
reports always named Billy or Bobby and not Brutus or Bozo?
6. Australia now ranks higher than
ever before on the economic freedom index
published by Washington’s Heritage Foundation. [Mission: “to formulate and
promote conservative public policies based on the principles of free
enterprise, individual freedom, traditional American values, and a strong
national defense.”] Australia’s score is now the highest in the 34-nation OECD.
A Labor government? Holy handguns! How did this happen?
7. Australia is one of four
countries in the Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD)
to have unemployment below 5.5% and job participation above 75%. Which are the others?
What else distinguishes them?
8. Australia is one of only three
nations in the OECD and G20 economies with interest rates in the optimum range between 1.75% and 4.75%. Only
Australia has maintained this through the global financial crisis. How? What
can Australia do now that was never possible before?
9. Australia is the only developed
country to have had continuous economic growth for 22 years. Australia and Poland alone among OECD nations
avoided recession in 2009. Why just these two? Which other nation is the most
envious, and why?
10. Labor productivity
is a tricky concept to define and even trickier to get right. It measures the
costs of labour and other inputs used to produce things. Low productivity has
bedevilled the world for decades, including Australia’s. Until 2011, that is. Suddenly
it surged in Australia, rising dramatically for a record seven consecutive
quarters. Seven. Wow! What generated this amazing surge? And what will trigger
a sudden reversal?
11. Australia has zoomed to the top
of the table of well-managed economies. That’s based on all the key variables.
Not just in the world now, but anywhere, any time. How? Was it abundant
minerals, critical decisions by Treasury, or the sound work of Peter Costello?
12. Speaking of whom, why does
Australia always rise up through the ranks during Labor regimes and tumble down
during Coalition periods? From 19th in 1983 up to 6th during the Hawke/Keating
years, then down to 12th in 2007 under Howard and Costello, then to the very
pinnacle in 2010. Who benefits from this cycle?
13. Best economy in the world is
creditable enough. Best the world has ever seen is more impressive still. But
achieved during the worst global economic crisis since the 1930s? How is this
conceivable?
14. Remember when national strikes
routinely disrupted train and air travel? Petrol rationing, supermarkets
running out of milk and garbage piled in the streets? City intersections
clogged most Fridays with demonstrations against the war or the US alliance or
the government?Ah, sweet memories. What brought
about this cultural change in Australia – almost alone in the Western world –
to have such disruption and discord diminish?
15. Finally, what’s with Canberra’s
extraordinary dishonesty differential? A journalist was recently assigned the
task of counting all the blatant lies – as distinct from unfulfilled promises –
by Australia’s four federal party leaders. He found twelve. That’s a lot for
just four leaders. He also found they were all by the one leader. Which one?
Why was the research not published?
There. Fifteen stories. Would you
like to read one of them? Well, you can’t. Sorry. It has been decided by those
who know what you want better than you do that you want three topics only:
(1) How appalling the Government is;
(2) how disastrously it is doing in
the opinion polls; and
(3) how the only hope for the future
is a leadership challenge.
If the latter eventuates, well, that
proves how appalling the Government is, as will be demonstrated in this week’s
opinion poll, which will apply further pressure for another leadership
challenge. If this doesn’t happen, well that just shows how appalling the
Government is, which next week’s opinion poll will highlight …
Ah, you crazy Australians!