NORTH POLE : In an exclusive report, Santa has confirmed that he will not be coming to Darwin this Christmas because of strict instructions from the NT Government. He has been ordered to stay away because the Henderson government is fearful that the Top End’s power supply will collapse when thousands of decorated Christmas trees with fairy lights and the Star of Bethlehem on top are switched on . Santa told us the government will break the startling news next week then rush overseas to study wind power.
This morning , Santa admitted he is happy about the Darwin ban because he develops nasty prickly heat delivering presents in the sweaty Top End. “What a hell hole , '' he added , in an unsolicited testimonial .
His leading reindeer, Rudolph, is also glad not to be coming to Darwin as he is fearful that some pickled , gun- toting Territorian will mistake him for a pygmy hippo or a low flying wombat wearing Easter Bunny ears and take potshots at him. Rudolph has been shot at on innumerable occasions flying over Darwin and is scared by all the fireworks which make it more dangerous than Baghdad during the last Gulf War .
This morning , Santa admitted he is happy about the Darwin ban because he develops nasty prickly heat delivering presents in the sweaty Top End. “What a hell hole , '' he added , in an unsolicited testimonial .
His leading reindeer, Rudolph, is also glad not to be coming to Darwin as he is fearful that some pickled , gun- toting Territorian will mistake him for a pygmy hippo or a low flying wombat wearing Easter Bunny ears and take potshots at him. Rudolph has been shot at on innumerable occasions flying over Darwin and is scared by all the fireworks which make it more dangerous than Baghdad during the last Gulf War .
