GROWING OUTRAGE OVER MERMAID

 COPENHAGEN :The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to  Beached  Mermaids  (SPCBM)  is  alarmed  at  the  treatment   of  the  tragic marooned  mermaid  on  Magnetic Island,  North  Queensland . 

SPCBM publicity officer , Hans  Christian  Blubber, today  expressed  outrage at  the  way  the  mermaid  has  been  mistreated , her arms and head pulled off , pieces of wood  screwed to  her  tortured  torso, the  mainland  media  ignoring  her  plight . 

Any Danish news organisation  worth its salt , he added, would  run  daily reports on  a  mermaid if  it  was  washed up  on  their  turf and then savagely  mistreated . 

He could not  understand what was up with  Australian reporters not realising  that   this  is  a major ongoing  story : a  mysterious  mermaid  at the   entrance  of   a  major  resort. 

 

Blubber  said it  had  been  suggested  to  Queensland authorities ,including the  organisers of  the  big yachting   event , Race Week , on  Magnetic Island , that  the  mermaid be   brought ashore  in Townsville, patched up , and  be  put on  permanent  display  at  the  Australian Institure of  Marine  Science .

Restored to her  full glory , the mermaid would also  look good in  the  Special Collections  section  at James Cook University  ,dangling her tail over the   desk  used  by  Queen  Elizabethto sign an important   document which  led to an outbreak of  education  in  the  north.  One  odd head  placed   atop  the  mermaid  looked   like Paddington  Bear , who was close  to   Lizzie Two-Stroke.  

Another possibility  would  be to convert  the mermaid  into a figurehead   like the  one on the famous  three- masted   merchant  clipper ship, Cutty Sark .  

Blubber  went on to say that with the proper   promotion and media attention, the  sad  mermaid of Magnetic Island could    become  as big a tourist attraction  as  the Danish fairytale  about the Little Mermaid  who came   ashore .