Saturday, December 26, 2020

EXCLUSIVE : MUTILATED MERMAID SHOCK

 Decapitated  , her arms ripped off, the  mysterious mermaid which  suddenly appeared   in  one puzzling, complete   piece on the  rocks   at  the  entrance to Magnetic Island , months  ago ,is now being subjected to  water torture . Our alert Shipping Reporter , the only one  north  of  La Perouse, Sydney, says the tragic mermaid  appears  to  be filling internally  due to  the recent  heavy rain.  He reckons  that, unless she  has a  split in her  fibreglass tail, or her belly button pops,  she could   find herself up to  her vital statistics   in H20  .This  could lead to  her becoming a breeding ground for pesky  mosquitoes. 

She could also develop , to use a medical expression, excessive  fluid on the  Berlei , leading  to  a kind  of  embarrassing   dropsy. 

The long running , extraordinary  and  brutal  mermaid saga  has  escaped the mainland media .  Our Shipping Reporter ,who intends starting a course for journalists in  the Leap year ,  has maintained a photographic   log  on  her  since  she  arrived on the island  and  the  subsequent cruel acts of   dismemberment  and   beheading .

 On Boxing Day , during a lull in the downpour , our waterfront  reporter took the above sad   photograph  of  the  mermaid , making gurgling sounds, which attracted the attention of a friendly rock wallaby , who  might  help keep  her cold  tail  warm  at  night .  On the same day,  he snapped the  battle scarred bow of the bulk carrier   Gladiator (below) , in port , which had  also  gone  unnoticed  by  the  scribes.