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| Hongi hurts |
CANBERRA:The election of a Labor government in New Zealand has forced Australia's Foreign Minister Julie Bishop to drastically change her daily routine . Instead of asking the magic mirror on the wall who is the smartest member of the entire Coalition , and why am I obviously so , she is forced to practice nose pressing with her own image , above, the Maori way of welcome, in readiness for the imminent, painful meeting with the new Kiwi Prime Minister , Jacinda Ardern .
Exclusive by ace political reporter Argus Tuft
A Maori welcome, Hongi , involves pressing both the forehead and nose to those of the visitor . It is tipped that PM Ardern might be tempted to give blinky Bishop an All Blacks version of a Liverpool Kiss as payback for the nasty things she said about the NZ Labor Party.
Readers will recall that Ms. Bishop said that if a Labor government were elected in New Zealand she would find it hard to deal with such a despicable and subversive bunch because one of its members simply helped reveal that the Australian Deputy Prime Minister, babbling Barnaby Joyce, is actually a sheep shagger because his father was a Kiwi.
From the Wellington Beehive today, PM Ardern said that if the High Court confirms Joyce is a New Zealander , she would welcome him back home and arrange for him to become a key performer in a revival of Rotorua's world famous penny haka group at Whakarewarewa.
