Saturday, May 2, 2015

GREAT AUSTRALIAN MURDER LOCATIONS FOR POMMIE GHOULS

Seeking  new  spooky locations for   the Midsomer Murders  series, the BBC should  consider  the  Darwin  residence of  the  wretched activist , agronomist  and  failed  giant pumpkin  grower, Rob Wesley-Smith, and  the  dangerous, cluttered ,  fetid  Little  Darwin  den.

In one  Midsomer Murders  episode  a killer   had  towering   piles of newspapers  which he  used to crush  victims to  death. Take a  peek  at  Wesley-Smith  , below , sitting at his desk , with his indexed  newspaper filing system , and  you  can see his residence  could  easily  be  converted into  a  beaut  setting  for  a  similar  , brutal  murder.
 

In addition , there  are   dark and  foreboding  places  on  his   rural property ... a  black  billabong , a  nearby swamp,  feral  Dragonfruit  which  slither about  like triffids  consuming  humans  and  there  are strange  stories  about  visiting  Timorese  nuns  kept  in  a  shipping  container .

Despite  strong competition  from Wesley-Smith , Little Darwin  believes it is an ideal setting for  a  macabre  serial  killing.  In  the editorial cell   there  is a pile of bound in old newspapers   going  back to the 1880s , dusty old bottles  dug up in the Northern Territory, hundreds of  books  being munched  by noisy  bookworms, a poltergeist , heaps of  tottering plastic containers   marked SPOOF, TOP SECRET, X-FILE .  Dracula  the  cheese eating  Coucal  drops  in   from   time   to   time to  give  the  place a  truly  eerie  feeling .
Inside  the  gloomy  Little Darwin infirmary, above, the resident  Mexican  poltergeist can be seen shimmering at the backdoor, a  detached  foot  floats  about  the  room , a Roumanian hammer and  sickle flag flutters  (bet  the AFP  examines our  metadata after this post ) and  the Northern Territory flag  is  flying in a way which indicates  the  dysfunctional  government  there  is  going  the  way of  the Titanic, the  deckchairs  unable  to  be rearranged  as they are  full of  white ants and  crumble  into  bulldust  on  touch.