VESTAL VIRGINS RUNNING CANBERRA ! – Barnaby Joyce.

Barnaby  in Vestal Virgin-proof  box in bushland  

CANBERRA : The  nation  is in a state of  shock after dynamic Agriculture Minister Barnaby  Joyce  revealed  a  secret  gang of  women   who lounge about here eating grapes , regularly barbecue   shrimps on  the sacred  flame of Vesta ,  swim  in  the   High  Court  fountain  in bikinis  and smoke expensive imported cigars    can  veto  any  white  papers  designed  to  benefit  the country.  Somehow, the Canberra media  rat  pack  did not  know  about  this  all  powerful  group .

 Twitching  and speaking on the subversive   ABC   Insiders , brave   Barnaby  told  Barrie Cassidy  the  Razor  Gang    should examine  the  government’s  massive   funding of  the  Vestal  Virgins, only  six in number , and  cut back on their luxurious, privileged  life  style . 

The Virgins, he added , wear   shoes made from the  skins  of  sacrificed Koala  Bears and get about in  long  white  robes  which give the impression that they  are pure in heart, thought  and  deed.In reality they were  like  omnipotent  Roman Caesars  who  give the thumbs up or down on  anything  or anyone  they  dislike, for  no sound  reason at  all. 

Barnaby  implied  the  Vestal Virgins  should  be dragged out into a public place ,   the  Prime  Minister's courtyard  suggested , stripped  of their  white  gowns,  their hair cut  and  then decked out  in pink  jump suits like  Queensland  bikies  and   forced  to work on  the  rodeo circuit selling Kingaroy roasted peanuts  and  popcorn to  boost  LNP slush funds.

 

PREDICTION : Umpteen  cartoons  about Canberra virgins will  appear in national  newspapers.