Sunday, November 3, 2013

GREAT TOURIST INVASION EVAPORATES : NEW NOOSA ? NEW GUINEA ? NEW CALEDONIA ?


 Disappointed   rock   wallaby ,  Angus  Ogilvie,  bottom  right , on  a  penal  outcrop ,  sings  Scottish  lament, Will ye  nae come back  again ?  as   tourist   ship Pacific  Dawn  sails   away  from  Maggie  without  spending  a   penny .
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Magnetic   Island   became   Gilligan’s Island   when  a  planned  visit  by  up  to  1500   tourists   failed   to   take  place   because    bad   weather ” prevented   boats   taking  on  passengers  from  a  cruise  ship  and depositing   them in  the   safe  harbour ”.

The   island , population  about  2300 ,   had  been   revved  up   for  days   about  the   big  event   and  locals  had   been  asked  to  dress  up  in  bright shirts  and  togas  to   greet  the   tourists ,  answer   questions . The  hospitality  industry  geared  up ,  hoping  for   heavy  trading ,  a  special  cruise ship  market  was  arranged  for   Horseshoe Bay.   Art ,   jewellery ,  Thai   tucker, colourful  cup  cakes ,  imported  Indonesian   bling  and   other  temptations  were   prepared  en   masse .     
 
The  animated   one-man  Carribbean band  player   would   almost certainly  have  been  on  deck .  Over  at  the  Marlin Bar, the   young ,  casual   dishwasher, with  a  penchant  for  writing ,  would  have  picked up many  ideas for plots as he scrubbed  a  mountain  of  crockery .   It   is  not  known  if the  French  restaurant,  which  also dabbles  on  the  side  in Aussie  hamburgers ,  planned  to  offer   tres  bon  island  specialities  created  just for the  tourists. The  tourists were going to witness  the  release of   a turtle  back into the sea  after  undergoing R and R on the island .    Prayers   were    said   in   many  residences   the  night   before  the  ship's arrival    for    a   cash  killing  the  following day.    Overnight however,   there   was   heavy   rain  and   strong  winds .

Down   at   the   safe   harbour  terminal ,  early  next   morning  ,  people , buses  and   hire  cars ( including  a  stretch  Jeep )  braced   themselves  for   the   invasion , which  would  have  been   greater   than  that  of   the  US  armed  assault on  the   tiny Caribbean  island, Grenada , part  of   the   British  Commonwealth , in October  1983.   But  no...  Word  came  through  that  the  visit  had   been   cancelled  because   strong  wind   made it dangerous  to  transfer  passengers from the  P. & O. vessel   to  Sealink  ferries .  

 Mass  weeping , wailing  and  gnashing of   molars  swept  the  isle .    The  cruise ship  was  seen  disappearing  in  the  distance  as  a   Little  Darwin  beach  bum   arrived on  the  scene  just  in  time  to  shout  bon  voyage .   As  our  man tottered  off   to  the  nearby   IGA store  with his  furled  Stars and  Stripes , a  woman was seen   filling  a  basket  with   goods.  A  young  man   asked   if  she  was stocking up   before  the  Yank  tourists  bought  up  everything . Such  was  the  island  expectation.  And   trudging  along  the  side  of  the  road  was  a  glum looking   girl  in  a  hula  skirt.   No  rum and  Coca- Cola , no  Yankee  dollars  for   her .  Islanders ,   like   Gilligan and   his  friends, were   left   stranded,  while  the  cargo-cult  ship  sailed   away  for   some  other   exotic   location .  The  nationality of   the  vanished   tourists  was the subject of dispute  among islanders  in the  inquest ; some  said  they  were  rich  Americans,  others  firmly believed they were  pauper  Australians, perhaps  even  bikies  fleeing  Queensland .  It turns out the  ship came from  Brisbane on its way to  PNG  and  back .

Townsville  media people also seemed to have  missed the boat  as  neither the ABC  nor the Townsville  Bulletin  reported  the event. The  ABC  finally caught up  with the story in a radio interview but  did not ask why  a cruise ship built in 1991 could not enter  port  and discharge  its  passengers for  the  island  experience .  This   inability  to  land    tourists  comes  after  the  recent  grand  opening of  the  new Townsville  passenger terminal and the  revelation  that  the  new  berth  is  not big  enough to handle   larger  cruise  ships.   Please explain Harbour Board and tourist wallahs  why the  great Magnetic Island  tourist  invasion  became a  disappointing  fiasco and  plans to prevent it  being  repeated  FOOTNOTE  : When   the   new  cruise ship terminal opened  in  Darwin ,  gaily  clad  passengers  streamed   through  it   to   be  interviewed  by   a   local TV reporter  in  typical Territory  relaxed  garbsuit and  tie -  in  this  last  [airconditioned ]  frontier  ( groan ) ... what   happened   to  dear  old , scruffy  and elegant  long  white  socks   Darwin  ?