CANBERRA
: Opposition Leader- turn- back- the- boats–and the-clock Tony Abbott - intends
to be the Minister
for the Navy as well
as
Prime Minister, according to an
entry in the soon to be
published latest edition of Jane’s Fighting Ships. Our
exclusive report says
a freelance photographer
, disguised as a
bobbing buoy , took this snap of Abbott
trying on the uniform of a Rear
– Admiral in the Queen’s
Navy as part of Operation Sovereign
Borders .
Admiral
Abbott is accompanied
by his right hand
man , a leering
bosun , Barnacle Bill , who will
be in charge of applying
the cat-o’-nine tail
to scurvy Australian
workers when the Tories
storm ashore at Spithead in
the near future. To make himself
appear
a fearsome seadog ,like something out of the
Pirates of the Caribbean
, Abbott is sporting a monocle
. It is
understood that Lady
Emma Hamilton , patron of the Plymouth Old
Girls’ Sailing Club, soon to
teach the Indonesian
Navy
how to put to sea to protect
its boundaries
and stop the
police from muscling in
on its rackets , has extended an open
invite
to this Aussie
Nelson to come up and see her sometime
when he next sails
into London Town aboard the scourge of the Indian Ocean , the dreadnought, HMAS Misogynist , a
patch over his tattered
policies , his arm hopefully
not caught
short , to be duchessed ,
like so many
colonials, on his
way to the
Cinque Ports to down a
yard of ale faster than Bob Hawke
did in his
prime .
