Tuesday, February 3, 2009

PONTING'S HABITS HIT FOR SIX

The Society for the Eradication of Repulsive Personal Habits is tonight expected to award Ricky Ponting its Grot of the Year Medal . Ponting’s repeated acts of spitting on his hands during tense moments in cricket matches horrifies the Society . This disgusting habit is undermining the Northern Territory Government’s campaign to teach kids to wash their hands after going for a splash. As a result, several hand pumping pollies have developed itchy palms

The Society relentlessly campaigns to eradicate breaches of personal hygiene from plasma screens throughout the nation. Another Ponting habit which infuriates the crusaders is his open- mouthed cud chewing, instead of shutting his cake hole.

Then there are those shuddersome moments when he is seen in close ups playing with his nasal hairs , or worse. In fairness, it must be pointed out that the average Tasmanian male toys with his hooter, despite childhood warnings from his mother. At least Ponting , unlike Prime Minister Rudd, does not nibble his ear wax during drinks breaks .