YEAR OF THE FLUNKEY

When it comes to unusual and catchy names for hairdressing salons and trendy restaurants , Australia seems  to be way ahead of the rest of the world . Latest gossip in Canberra , with so many things to jawbone  about , is the  claim that  a new eatery called  the  GONGED  OUT  FAT  CHOY FLUNKEY  is to open its ornate  doors . Obviously a play on the Chinese New Year incantation, it will cater  for  those  who  like   sipping   short  soup  through  a straw  or  run about like  the  rabbit  in Alice  in Wonderland . Flunkeys  galore , lovers of puns ,  are expected  to  gather there  and   discuss  invitations  and  travel   plans  to  exotic  places .

APRES BEDWETTING DELUGE , MONTEZUMA'S CURSE STRIKES ENFEEBLED COALITION

CANBERRA : There are  growing   fears  here  that    there is  a spreading  outbreak of  the dreaded  French Revolution  Syndrome in   Coalition ranks . First  indications  were numerous  reports  of  bedwetting  in/on  Tory seats.  This  caused  great  embarrassment  and  anxiety  in  conservative  circles .

Now  medical authorities report a growing  number of true blue  politicians  displaying  obvious symptoms of  Montezuma's Curse who are seen  rapidly  trotting out of  parliament house  with  Swiss  chocolate coated fringe benefits .  An overworked  doctor  in the capital  warned   the Turnbull government  is starting to  resemble  the  classic CIA collapsing  dominoes scenario because of  all  those  running  for  the  exit .
 

Leading urologist , Dr  Richard  Squeezer , today  further  warned the situation could lead  to an  explosion  in  dead  testicle   cases  in  politicians caused by  wearing  pre-loved ,  tight  budgie  smugglers, riding  racing  bikes  uphill ,  dancing on  marble tabletops , slipping on  banana skins and  feral onions  in  media  photo  opportunities staged at zoos  , limp  falling  on overseas study trips and  foolishly  taking part in charity  mediaeval  jousting   competitions  with   tricky  Sir  Lancelot , related to  the evil Sheriff of Nottingham , who  often  hits  below  the  belt , with  painful  results , leaving  male pollies  writhing on the ground in agony  , whimpering  , sounding   like  Maid  Marian .

TOWNSVILLE SUPER STADIUM STUNS WORLD ; FUELS BLOODLUST

Voracious    dinosaurs     chasing  and     mauling    giant    effigies   of  Clive Palmer will    be  the     daily  star   attraction   in  the  just  approved   design  for  Townsville's huge stadium  based   on  Rome's blood drenched Coliseum . The well known Kiwi / Australian  filmstar , Russell   Crowe , is  in charge of  the daily bloodbath  entertainment  when  it  is  not  provided  by tame football  clashes between the   Cowboys   and  the  Broncos.

In an exclusive interview ,  Crowe  told  Little Darwin ,  apart  from  the   popular  gory  act in which Clive is  repeatedly  masticated  and reduced to a small mound of steaming   flesh about  the  size   of a  large   pile of  reject   Chinese  dim  sims  -  hauled   away   by  African   dung  beetles  singing Hi Ho It's Off to Work We Go , gladiators   will  throttle each other with  telephone cords , a  magpie will peck the eyes out  of  assorted local  hacks and a cardinal  will  be roasted  on  a   spit.

 All in  all  , wholesome family entertainment . A feature of the stadium is that it will  not have a roof so as  to catch  any rain  which  falls  once every  100 years  in the city , forming a storage dam  which will  enable the Townsville City Council to stage  splashy  water  follies starring Esther Williams  and  Dawn  Fraser .

BRAND NEW LODGE LOOMING FOR TURNBULL'S KITTY ?

With new  international disclosure requirements  coming  into  force next year  , there is  a stampede by  the wealthy  out of  tax   havens such as the Cayman Islands   to  Las Vegas,  the  United  States now described as  the new  Switzerland . Using  parliamentary privilege , the  ALP  accused PM Malcolm Turnbull of investing his millions in the Cayman Islands to dodge tax.

Labor senator Sam  Dastyari  highlighted  the PM's investments in Ugland House, dubbed by President Obama as " the biggest tax scam on record".  Dastyari described it as “the house where Malcolm’s money resides.”He accused Mr Turnbull of not playing by the same rules as regular Australians.“There is one reason I know why people invest in the Cayman Islands and that’s so they don’t have to play by the same rules as the rest of us,’’ he said.“This isn’t fair and it’s not right.”

 

It  was  pointed out  that Australian super funds use the Caymans.

The  long established European financial institution  , Rothschild , has opened a trust company in Reno, Nevada,  a few blocks from the Harrah’s and Eldorado casinos. It is now moving the fortunes of wealthy foreign clients out of offshore havens such as  the Caymans,  subject to  the  new  proposed   OECD led global disclosure standards,  into Rothschild run trusts in Nevada, which  are exempt.

A Bloomberg report  said  hot markets were being set up in  the US in which to stash  foreign wealth.  It went on to say that "everyone " from London lawyers  to Swiss trust companies  were getting in on the act , helping the  world's  rich move accounts  from places like  the  Bahamas , the British  Virgin islands  to Nevada ,Wyoming  and South Dakota .

 

This  situation seems to have received scant attention in the Australian media and  parliament .The long running   plundering of  the nation by tax  dodging  overseas corporations  and  others  continues  while  tax  paying  stiffs  suffer , facing   cuts   to public  services, job losses, likely tax increases .

RUPERT MURDOCH'S EXTENSIVE TROPICAL GLORY BOX DISPLAYED

Part of  the many treasures in media magnate Rupert Murdoch's  large camphorwood  trunk , a mixture of  intricately  woven doilies and dailies , are  these newspapers  highlighted on a new  advertising  sign  over  a Townsville hotel , the Herbert .


Not   listed  are the  Cairns  Post and  the  Northern  Territory News in  Darwin, the Centralian Advocate in Alice Springs . Of  course, there  is  Brisbane's  Courier Mail  and  The Australian   which  also   circulates in the steamy  north .  A strange name for   a publication in the  chain is  the Bowen Independent , which can't be what it claims , if  English means  anything nowadays . 


Anyway ,  this little puzzle will no doubt be discussed   during the  honeymoon.  And things could change in the future as  the federal government has indicated  it will  soon allow  further consolidation  of  the  media  and  Rupert  may well   have more goodies to reveal  at  the  nuptials.

AUSTRALIAN NEGLECT OF REEF AND TROPICS FIRED UP PASSIONATE ARMY OF ACTIVISTS AND POETS

One of the  many people who shared the ideals of  Arthur  and  Margaret  Thorsborne    to save  the Torresian Imperial Pigeon, also known as the White Nutmeg Pigeon,   in  particular , and  the   wider  creatures  and  environment of  Queensland's  wet  tropics   was   the   late   Australian  poet , Judith   Wright , above, called the conscience of the nation  , who campaigned strongly  for conservation , peace and  Aboriginal landrights . (Photograph  from Judith Wright Contemporary Arts Centre, Brisbane. )

One of the four founding members of the Wildlife Preservation Society of Queensland  in the  1960s, she was appalled  by  the proposal to mine  coral for limestone  at Ellison Reef  and  drill   the  Great Barrier Reef for oil .

 Great damage , she pointed out, had been done to the Reef    by  fertilisers , pesticides , dredging, sugar  production  effluent  and  urban sewage.
 

Her despair  at   the  despoilation  came through in her poem , Australia 1970 :  For  we  are  conquerors and self poisoners / more than scorpions or snake /and dying  of  the  venoms  that we make / even while you  die of  us .

She campaigned tirelessly across the nation to save the glorious Great  Barrier Reef  and set out  the  struggle  in  her  powerful 1977  book , Coral Battleground .
 

After a  10 year campaign , resulting  in a Royal Commission , the Queensland and Australian Government agreed to protect the reef and  the Great Barrier Reef Marine  Park  was formed  ; in 1975 the Great Barrier Reef Marine Authority, based in Townsville , charged with the management of the Reef came into being  , its   performance in recent years subject of some criticism.  In  1981 ,  the reef was  declared  a World  Heritage  Area .

(Wright's book cover  featured here is  a 20th anniversary commemoration   edition ; an updated  reprint was published in  2014 , the  Reef  under renewed  threats .)

 The current   president of  the Townsville branch of  Wildlife Queensland , Liz  Downes ,  closely involved  with  the Thorsbornes ,  met  Judith Wright  at  an Australian and New Zealand Association  for the Advancement of  Science conference  in  Townsville  in the  l980s.

 

Wright wrote  a passionate  foreword   to  the 1988  Thorsbornes'  book , Hinchinbrook  Island , The Land Time Forgot , photographs by  Cliff  and Dawn  Frith, in which she  traced  the impact on the continent since the arrival of European  settlers, the dispossession of the Aborigines , the assault on the  countryside ,  flora  and  fauna  and  the  Reef.

Only in recent times , she said ,  had  this onslaught  begun to be remedied. A few devotees  of   particular regions and places , such as  the Thorsbornes, were now spending  time  and  love documenting , describing  and   illustrating  them.

In  October  1999, from Cardwell, Margaret Thorsborne  sent a presentation reprint copy  of  the  book to Tanya Schuett  ,  a German resident  of  Magnetic Island , with  the  inscription: "If  they could, all wildlife, especially the nutmeg pigeons would  thank you, as I do , for all your love , care and work  to protect wild places . Hinchinbrook would  thank  you  too".


  Magnetic  Island  pigeon study  

Schuett  had   been involved in many  annual  pigeon counts and officially approved  observations   on  the birds were  carried out  in aviaries on her property  which  produced  invaluable  information . BELOW: Envelope  with    handpainted   pigeons  drawn  by  Margaret  Thorsborne  on a letter sent  to Schuett.   

 When  Judith Wright  died  in 2000,  Liz  Downes ,  now also   a  volunteer researcher  at the  Special Collections section , Eddie  Koiki  Mabo Library , James Cook University, paid tribute with   a  poem which was included  in a reading at  a ceremony to honour her life and  work, organised  by the  Wildlife Preservation Society of Queensland  (now Wildlife Queensland ) at  Mount Tambourine,  the  poet's residence .

For Judith Wright  - 31.5.1915 – 25.6.2000

 That day in June I woke to hear you’d gone,

lyrebird singer, lover, fighter,

the   gulf of  your absence opened wide in me,

an alien void

where  you  had  stood  so long.

 

As if deep in the forest one of those grand old trees –

  one  that  had  led  the way  towards  the  sun,

  stood strong against the storms,

   put out stout limbs and delicate bright flowers,

    shed  seeds  and  sheltered  saplings,

    sustained and housed a universe of life.

 

As if this elder of the trees

had, at last, groaned and swayed and fallen

back to its own earth cradle,

leaving a bewilderment of loss

and the forest torn and grieving.

 

Yet still returning life to life,

releasing the energies of years,

so others will grow where once you stood,

fed by your passions,

hearing your song,

living, not in your shadow,

but your light. 

FOOTNOTE :  Despite  achievements made in the past to stop the  degradation and    mining  of  the  reef , which included  oil  drilling during  the Joh-Bjelke Petersen government , this  great  national  treasure, one of  the  world's natural  wonders ,   last year avoided being placed on an endangered list by UNESCO , but is on a four year watch . Massive dredging  is  planned in connection  with  the  proposed Abbot  Point coal loading  expansion - outlet  for  the  highly controversial   Galilee   Basin  project.

UPCOMING : Further  extensive  articles  about  activists, past and present , who  took part  in  or are currently involved in  various   campaigns  to   combat   the  assault   on   land ,  sea  , air   and  flora  and fauna. 

ENTERPRISING , DARING JOURNALIST CAPTURED ROMANTIC ERA OF SAIL IN SOUTH PACIFIC

While exploring an Auckland cemetery  in 1998 , the grave  of  the prominent New Zealand reporter,  author, publisher , and singing  newspaper owner , Sir Henry Brett , who wrote  the magnificent  two volume set , White Wings , the first covering   Fifty Years of Sail in the New  Zealand Trade  1850 to 1900  , above ,  in  the  Little Darwin  Collection  , was  unexpectedly  discovered .

 

At the age of  19 , Brett ,  born  February 15, 1842,  who learned the printing  trade  at his  uncle's newspaper, the Hastings and St Leonards Gazette, Sussex,  had arranged to  sail to the Albertland Special Settlement , north of Auckland , take up 40 acres of  land and work  three days a week on  the settlement  newspaper .

 

He had  been a member of a  church choir since  10 and was a  strong rower for which he had won a  medal .   Arriving  in  Auckland aboard the Hanover in 1862 , he was approached  by representatives  of a  newspaper, Southern Cross , who came aboard desperately   seeking   compositors  and  offered  him  the  mighty sum of  one  pound a day.

 

Apart from working as a printer , he became a shipping reporter for the New Zealand Herald  and,  using his skill as an oarsman , joined the  rush, in all kinds of  weather,  to row out to  vessels coming into port to learn the latest news , obtain overseas newspapers , pick up   the mail  and gain other useful information, twice nearly  drowning .

 

Covering the Thames goldrush on the Coromandel Peninsula , he pioneered  using  carrier pigeons to  send back reports to  Auckland , where he bought a third  share  in the Auckland Star ,  later  its  eventual  owner. Over the years he became mayor of Auckland , wrote  and published  important books,   sang in church  and  choirs  spanning  70 years, maintained a wonderful garden , donated an organ and an organist  to the new  Auckland Town Hall , founded the New Zealand  Farmer , became  a director  of the United Press Association .

 

Late in  life he wrote White Wings , the second volume published  in 1928, a year after he  died  in  Rotorua ,aged 84.The  copies pictured here  are  l976  Capper Press , Christchurch, reprints . The second volume dealt with the  founding of  the provinces  and old  time  shipping  from  1840  to  1885.