THE ISLAND ON POOH CORNER : RABID S(H)IPPING REPORTER SINKS FANGS INTO MUGWUMPS

Doggone   paradise 

In the Magnetic Island  "safe harbour" there  is a  walkway which runs  from the  ferry terminal to  Bright Point , with  its  rock  wallaby colony . Along the way ,  there are  six palm  trees  , each  with  a   rectangular wooden  bordered  mulch   plot , each  of  which  recently  sported a  mound of   dog  poop . Not the six pack  that gladdens the  heart of  a thirsty sailor  or  tourist. In  a word ,  yukky. The rusty barricade overlooking the infamous island   hole , inundated  by  this  week's  king  tide , visible  in  the  photo. 

Another  major  walkway , used  by many backpackers, residents , other strollers and  dogs ( some on leads ) ,  runs  through Nelly  Bay , which  currently sports  the  above  clapped  out cars . It would seem  that  the  isle  is  a  place where  , like  elephants,  they  go to die or be abandoned .  The cars above have been ransacked, evidence of window smashing .   In  bygone days cars  were  carted away to the tip area out of sight .  The island used to have a  resident  dog catcher  until  The Townsville City Council  gave him  a bait , the replacement  arrangement  top secret .  Poo and  roadside bombs are now  part  of  the   sights   on  this neglected and endangered  area  of  the   Great Barrier Reef  World   Heritage  Park .   

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URGENT CALL : IS THERE A TREE DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE ?

Celebrity  has  mysterious , unsightly  condition .

Don't tell anybody, but   Queensland celebrity, Billy Bombax, an arboreal giant who  promotes sustainability and  recycling ,  appears to be suffering  from  the  dreaded  black  plague in various parts of  his trunk , especially in the armpit region  and  earhole.  

In an exclusive interview , grumpy looking   Billy , who  holds up the sky in  Townsville's   Anderson   Park  Botanic  Gardens , told  Little  Darwin   he fears  he will  be  woodchipped  to  prevent the repulsive looking  ailment  spreading  to  the  Cowboys  and   any   wooden  spoon  they  might  win . 

Billy also  has a  nasty looking canker on his back  ,  which  scares children and  deters  them from  climbing , so  they go home and spend all weekend  slumped over   computers  and  drongo  phones . Bombax is  tipped  to  be  the subject  of an  in  depth   follow up  report to this post  by  a member of  Townsville's media  mushroom  club  sometime  next  leap  year , by which time  poor old  Billy  may have  been  pulped  and  made  into  single  use  Lady Scott  tissues.

HUNGRY MARSUPIALS , BIRDS MOVING INTO SUBURBS FROM DRY QUEENSLAND BUSH

Kangaroos , apparently short of  food because of dry conditions , in a Townsville suburb  near  Ross River . On Magnetic Island  wallabies have been entering   backyards  and eating  parsley, hibiscus  leaves  and other   plants. An island wildlife carer   says  the Horseshoe  Bay  end of the island  looks brown , no grass available  for  wallabies.  Cockies and  currawongs  are also being noticed in larger  numbers  on  the  island . The aggressive currawongs are harassing  curlews,  beginning to  nest , which does not  bode  well  for  any chicks which might hatch .     Photographs  by  Abra .

TABEBUIA TIME IN TOWNSVILLE

A striking feature of  the city  this time of  the year  are  the  many Pink Trumpet Trees, the  flowers from which  carpet  the  ground .

Photos  by Stacey and  Abra .

VICTORY IN PACIFIC FOUNTAIN REDUCED TO BUBBLES

S(h)ipping  Reporter's  latest  top secret signal  sent   to  Admiral Harry  Harris  about  Townsville's  neglect  of  war  memorials , inertia .

Admiral Harris : Realise you  are  busy helping Donald Trump sort out the  North Korean  nuclear  imbroglio , but    the  continuing neglect of  the Victory in the Pacific Memorial  fountain , the Battle for the  Coral  Sea  memorial  and the North Queensland  WWll memorial garden   plaques    requires  your  immediate  attention .  Civic, military groups and torpedoed   local  media  unable to  resolve  the  issue.

 

The waterfront roundsman , the only one  north   of  County  Bondi , inspected  all  three   sites  during the  week  and  found the situation had not changed . The Victory in the  Pacific  fountain  could   hardly raise a  bubble in the bottom chamber . It is a shame that  those  gun  mechanics  from   the  V8  Supercars  were  not asked to  service  the  fountain and  get  it jetting  like ones  in  the  Palace  of  Versailles.

Apart  from  leaves scattered about the Battle for the Coral Sea memorial  , of significance  to   Admiral  Harris because his  father  was  on  the  carrier  USS   Lexington  , there were many ground in   parts   of  seedpods in the surrounds , the lettering   faded.  At the nearby fountain   marking  Queensland's break   away from  New South Wales , while  actually  working , it  seemed  to  have more   tiles  missing...possibly due to New South Welshman making off with souvenirs  ? There were also  leaves  in   the   pool .

MAINLAND MEDIA TRAPPED IN UNDERGROUND MUSHROOM FARM

There is overwhelming   evidence  that  members  of  Townsville's  media  have spent   so much time in  the   dark  and  dank   local  mushroom farm , aka  the city's   news  beat ,  that  they have  become  blind  to  the  many stories  on  nearby  sunny  Magnetic Island , slickly described  as  the  city's  Jewel in  the Crown , but badly neglected .

Latest  island  epics  to escape  the  myopic media's  attention is  the   fight to death by a  death adder  and  a   coucal , captured on  film  (could go viral , as they say ) ; the third  vandal  attack  on  beach   restoration  measures (the  two others not  picked up by the  look  alike  mainland  mob )  ; the  weird , hush-hush  case  of   the  smile-you-are-on-candid-camera  safe  robbers.


Then  there is the unexplained  saga  of  the  white  powder( was it sherbet or  meths?),  dropped in a  bottle shop  which, according to hearsay , resulted in  a man being ordered off the island ; the story behind  counterfeit  American  money found  on the  island .What about the dead  dugong  found washed up on  the  island ? The follow up autopsy been carried out  yet  ? The observation  has  been made  repeatedly  that a  small team of  really  with  it  scribes  would  go through  Townsville  like  a   packet  of  salts, in the process , giving  Magnetic Island  and Townsville  the  coverage   they   deserve, but  clearly  do  not  get .

LONELY LITTLE PET CURLEW IN A DIANTHUS PATCH