SHIPPING REPORTER CROAKS

Believe it or not , our waterfont  roundsman   has been medically branded an amphibian , a frog !   The strange saga began when he again experienced extreme pain in his right leg , as if impaled  by the tusk   of a  narwhale , or attacked by enraged  Moby Dick  ,and  flown to Townsville University Hospital in an Italian helicopter . 

There he  moaned about the air conditioning  , demanded heaps of blankets , no doubt causing the prison laundry which services the hospital  to rock around the clock on a double shift, and was diagnosed   by   nursing  staff and  medicos as a"cold frog."When  he donned  a beanie at night a  nearby patient , who sleeps without blankets, called him in an Eskimo. Ha, ha. 

Under the influence of drugs , he vows and declares Frosty the Snowman  was standing by a rail of  his  bed  early one morning !!!!

On the  positive side, as his fame spreads as a  relative of celebrity frog   Kermit , a dateless , desperate and sight impaired princess  seeking Prince Charming  , visiting  the hospital, might  kiss him, probably  resulting  in an outbreak of warts on her  lips. 

 Despite the fact that that his  career    as  the  only shipping reporter north of  Gabo Island keeps him busy,he is seriously thinking of moonlighting as a MKR food writer, like the talented  frog , Gourmet George,who penned a lively tucker column for the Darwin Sun newspaper,named after the Hong Kong Sun, the  column title  inspired by  a  frog in the office  toilet  who tickled female staff  members   when they sat down , causing them to scream .