According to my many contacts with mermaids in Davy Jones Locker, shucked Foreign Minister Julie Bishop will become the Pearly Queen of Yarralumla , taking over from bellowing Leopard Walrus , Sir Peter Cosgrove .
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I'm all yours in (pearly) buttons and bows Bishop at a mad , mad Coalition clam bake in the Canberra mudflats .
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Ms. Bishop has a massive wardrobe of pearlshell button decorated clothing , see above , and 1000 sets of Mikimoto pearl earrings . She will stun the nation as G-G when, covered from head to foot in mother of pearl , she takes part in grand national functions , such as the blessing of the Lake Burley Griffin shrimp boat fleet , the opening of the Hawkesbury River polluted oyster season . The new PM , Scott Morrison , clammed up ( get it? ) , when asked to confirm my scoop about Ms Bishop .
Fashionistas at the United Nations were impressed when Ms. Bishop addressed the gathering wearing pearl earrings and a special blood red Liberal Party spill party dress into which were woven pieces of Arafura Sea mother of pearl shell and the jawbone of an ass in budgie smugglers .
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A gathering of Bishop's loyal Liberal Party supporters , indicative of the true blue broad church nature of the party , in Western Australia, some in buttons and bows, at the annual blessing of the Chevy Chase tight zippers and sharp daggers .
CRUSTACEAN NOTE: In the top angry photograph she was caught sticking the oyster knife , teeth and tongue into New Zealand Labor and its tasty paua shells for revealing the fact that Deputy PM babbling Barnaby Joyce was a Kiwi . In breaking news, it has just been leaked that Barnaby has a new job as keeper of oyster mayonnaise bottles in outback Australia . |
