Sensational Scoop by S(h)ipping Reporter
Acting on a tip off received while sipping sherbet with a pretty visiting colleen in Molly Malone's Irish Pub , our keen as mustard waterfront roundsman was directed to two 20 megaton bombs , above, which arrived hidden in an Ikea shipment from Nevada to arm the missiles on the top secret base rapidly being built on the side of Ross Creek , Townsville .
Code named Fat Boy 1 and 2 , the bombs were described on shipping documents as Adani coal samples for the Australian Federal Treasurer , Scott Morrison , who likes to entertain parliament by wearing a red nose and juggling lumps of coal during Question Time.