ABBOTT CAUGHT SHORT IN PYTHON BATTLE

To counter all the publicity given to those enterprising Kiwis over the world premiere of The Hobbit movie in Wellington, Canberra staged an Aussie version of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. In the last week of Federal parliament, PM Julia Gillard strode into the bearpit armed with a claymore , wearing a blouse patterned like chain mail that protected warriors in the Dark Ages beneath one of her short length jackets detested by Germaine Greer , which , however, enables the fearless First Lady to quickly mount a passing warhorse. Intent on blocking her passage across the Molongolo Bridge, was the Black Knight, Tony Abbott, and his motley crew of camp ( as in bivouac) followers, including gimlet-eyed Julie Bishop , Adelaide soup kitchen plate licker , Christopher Pyne , and Puffin’ Joe Hockey, believed to be a member of the arthritic Wollstonecraft Mob . In his bid to secure the Holy Grail-the reins of political power- Abbott challenged Julia to a proxy sword fight . Tougher than the Iron lady, Margaret Thatcher, Julia was not for turning .Whack!-off came Abbott’s left arm . Saying it was but a scratch, cack -handed Abbott transferred his Wilkinson Sword , blessed by Archbishop Pell , to his right hand . Enjoying the fun, the PM then sliced up the Mad Monk as if he had fallen into a potato scallop making machine, reducing him to a quadruple amputee, wearing a g-string . In the uproar , somebody was called a thug , the Mad Monk threatened to bite off the PM’s legs , Brownwyn kept on trying to read from her black book , the Italian , Chinese and diabetic kids in the gallery sat there stunned . At the end of the bloody battle ,which resembled 1066 and All That ,the long suffering Speaker , Anna Burke , donned a pair of funny looking ears, and booked herself into a Rotorua sanatorium to take advantage of the soothing mud slinging therapy on offer for the duration of the parliamentary break. The coconuts  used to provide the  sound effects of galloping horses  will  be used in the next ABC  Kitchen Cabinet   Tv  series .