Longreach-Winton-Kynuna-Cloncurry with deodorised author/ artist / marriage guidance counsellor, Peter Burleigh , as he battles corporate bulldust and learns the growing art of sending urgent, reverse charge smoke signals .
Kangaroos in the yellow grass. Dew. Amber morning sun cutting low. Silence. The sounds of cars and trucks can be traced to individual vehicles and you can hear the silence in between them. In the city there’s no silence; it’s filled by background hum. These mornings are delicious. The sun releases smells of damp earth, wet grass and indefinable funky odours. It warms your bones. You can’t deny the feeling that it’s good to be alive.
People talk about the value of brands and how easily they can be compromised. Two examples come to mind, Qantas and Telstra. From an unassailable Australian brand Qantas has for years sown the seeds of its own destruction through its execrable service in the air and on the ground, and its increasingly poor mechanical performance. I don’t fly Qantas anymore. It’s an accident waiting to happen.
Second example: Telstra. I’m repelled by the brand, I loathe how Telstra has treated me in the past. If I must contact Telstra for any reason whatsoever I know the experience will be the pits. In Longreach I try to buy a pre-paid Telstra SIM card for my unlocked phone. After standing in a queue for 20 minutes, I am treated to:
"Is your phone unlocked?"
"Yes."
"Does it accept G3 services?"
"Don’t know. It’s a brand new phone. I need a Telstra SIM card so I can make calls. I want this deal here: Talk & Text, it..."
"Are you connected to Telstra?"
"No, but I’ve come to Telstra because your coverage is good out in the Kimberleys."
"Did you know you need G3?"
"I just want to make calls, and I‘m willing to pay."
"It’s not as easy as that."
People talk about the value of brands and how easily they can be compromised. Two examples come to mind, Qantas and Telstra. From an unassailable Australian brand Qantas has for years sown the seeds of its own destruction through its execrable service in the air and on the ground, and its increasingly poor mechanical performance. I don’t fly Qantas anymore. It’s an accident waiting to happen.
Second example: Telstra. I’m repelled by the brand, I loathe how Telstra has treated me in the past. If I must contact Telstra for any reason whatsoever I know the experience will be the pits. In Longreach I try to buy a pre-paid Telstra SIM card for my unlocked phone. After standing in a queue for 20 minutes, I am treated to:
"Is your phone unlocked?"
"Yes."
"Does it accept G3 services?"
"Don’t know. It’s a brand new phone. I need a Telstra SIM card so I can make calls. I want this deal here: Talk & Text, it..."
"Are you connected to Telstra?"
"No, but I’ve come to Telstra because your coverage is good out in the Kimberleys."
"Did you know you need G3?"
"I just want to make calls, and I‘m willing to pay."
"It’s not as easy as that."
A small voice in my mind says "oh, shit..." With the wannest of wan smiles, the man continues: "Telstra phones are locked on to the G3 network. I can sell you a SIM card but it won’t work properly, only in bigger towns - so it won’t be much better than what you have now. The only way to get some coverage in the Kimberley is if you’ll go two doors up the street and buy a $100 Telstra phone from Retravision. Then I can sell you a Telstra card that works in the area you want."
"But I have a brand-new phone, not contracted to anyone. That’s restrictive trade practice."
"What? Restrictive what?"
"Forget it."
"What? Restrictive what?"
"Forget it."
Telstra is dumbfoundingly stupid. They could have had my business, and they just might have had a permanent customer. All they have done is confirm my extreme prejudice against them, which I am passing on to you and anyone else who’ll listen.
Winston Churchill knew about the "shock of the new", so like me he must have been travelling with five guys in four-wheel-drives. It’s going to be this way until the women fly into Kununurra in WA. In a sense, we are sharing a single cabin. One of us is dedicated to technological gimmicks; one apparently dedicated to beer; one a newcomer to Australia, wide-eyed and unsure how to withstand the blokey rubbishing; and two others who’re wondering why they’re with the other three. Habits are exposed which irritate some but mean little to others. Only girly-men care about the wet towels on the floor, the milk left out to go off, the strewn cans, the bottles...travelling in the outback isn’t for the pedantic, yet most are infected with the belief that their own knowledge is far superior to anyone else’s.
But it’s only transitory. Everyone shows goodwill and pitches in. With a bit of psychotherapy the other four guys could begin to seem human.
Winston Churchill knew about the "shock of the new", so like me he must have been travelling with five guys in four-wheel-drives. It’s going to be this way until the women fly into Kununurra in WA. In a sense, we are sharing a single cabin. One of us is dedicated to technological gimmicks; one apparently dedicated to beer; one a newcomer to Australia, wide-eyed and unsure how to withstand the blokey rubbishing; and two others who’re wondering why they’re with the other three. Habits are exposed which irritate some but mean little to others. Only girly-men care about the wet towels on the floor, the milk left out to go off, the strewn cans, the bottles...travelling in the outback isn’t for the pedantic, yet most are infected with the belief that their own knowledge is far superior to anyone else’s.
But it’s only transitory. Everyone shows goodwill and pitches in. With a bit of psychotherapy the other four guys could begin to seem human.
