MELBOURNE : Australia's Tour de France hero , Cadel Evans , has been placed in quarantine suffering from a massive dose of tinea contracted during the huge civic reception.A Darwin ABC TV newsreader twice said Cadel was to be “feeted” by adoring cycling fans in the Victorian capital, where sales of valve rubber have soared .
Being feeted , apparently , is a trendy new craze in southern capitals where mould grows like wildfire under armpits, in the groin and belly buttons during winter months . Leading Victorian dignitaries shed their thongs, gumboots , brogues and brothel creepers to impress the cyclist with their feet at the knees up , bigger than the Moomba Festival.
Being feeted , apparently , is a trendy new craze in southern capitals where mould grows like wildfire under armpits, in the groin and belly buttons during winter months . Leading Victorian dignitaries shed their thongs, gumboots , brogues and brothel creepers to impress the cyclist with their feet at the knees up , bigger than the Moomba Festival.
Everyone from the Premier through to Jeff Kennett, Sam Newman and Derryn Hinch rubbed shoulders and tootsies with Cadel . Cadel began to develop an uncontrollable itch in both big toes and was soon bounding about like a frightened rock wallaby as the tinea became more virulent. Barefooted VIPs emulated his hopping, thinking it was a Continental fad Cadel had picked up in on the Left Bank of fashionable Paris.
Eddie Maguire kindly offered to cut the unsightly tinia from Cadell’s plates of meat with his boning knife, or else sign him up as a fleet- footed Collingwood ruckman . ABC head honcho, Mark Scott, said the Darwin newsreader responsible for this foot in mouth gaffe would be towed bare- footed behind Hubert Opperman’s Malvern Star , ridden by the fittest member of the NT Retired Police Officers’ Association from Palmerston to Alice Springs at more than 130kph . Henceforth, Melbourne, will be known as Footrot Flats, which will undoubtedly improve its international image.
Eddie Maguire kindly offered to cut the unsightly tinia from Cadell’s plates of meat with his boning knife, or else sign him up as a fleet- footed Collingwood ruckman . ABC head honcho, Mark Scott, said the Darwin newsreader responsible for this foot in mouth gaffe would be towed bare- footed behind Hubert Opperman’s Malvern Star , ridden by the fittest member of the NT Retired Police Officers’ Association from Palmerston to Alice Springs at more than 130kph . Henceforth, Melbourne, will be known as Footrot Flats, which will undoubtedly improve its international image.
