TRANSYLVANIA: Deep inside a dank , bat- filled cave, a mad scientist is frantically attempting to make a great big new monster to lead the Federal Coalition at the looming election . The situation is really desperate for the Tories as all other leader experiments with zombies have failed dismally. The latest grotesque creature is being made from the special DNA which the Mad Monk says is part of the make up of all true blue Liberals and Nationals.
Little Darwin has obtained the secret blueprint for the weird creature . Made in the image of a pretend honest leader , it is being built from odds and ends , starting with a large bag of wind. Stuck on its head is a wig which resembles Andrew Robb’s scarecrow hairdo. Its eyes appear to be Julie Bishop’s fetching glare . Naturally, the ears are those of Tony Abbott with a dash of Billy McMahon. There are elements of a certain rodent in the eyebrows and chin.
When it comes to the ticker , there could be a design fault here because it is modelled on the DNA of rubber faced Peter Costello who lost heart and departed. The monster will have the boarding school accent of Alexander Downer and the accounting skills of Barnacle Bill , still missing on a droving trip with Clancy of the Overflow on the Barcoo.
Taken out of mothballs, the double -breasted suit of the great Liberal leader, Sir Robert Menzies , will give the hulk added gravitas. When the great big new leader is out campaigning he will be armed with the Coalition’s iron bar with which to beat that ABC 7.30 Report fiend , “Red ” Kerry O’Brien , to a pulp before he can ask one embarrassing question.
Luckily for Darwin, this whopper new monster will not require a massive bolt of electricity like Frankenstein to bring it to life, so the power supply should be safe –unless a macho gecko swings on the transmission line like Tarzan. The nouveaux riche monster will be activated by a massive transfusion of blood and bile from kind mining company magnates . It will immediately spring to its feet , smiling like a Cheshire cat , and begin slapping people on the back and kissing petrified babies in shopping malls , causing them to break out in repulsive eczema .
Little Darwin has obtained the secret blueprint for the weird creature . Made in the image of a pretend honest leader , it is being built from odds and ends , starting with a large bag of wind. Stuck on its head is a wig which resembles Andrew Robb’s scarecrow hairdo. Its eyes appear to be Julie Bishop’s fetching glare . Naturally, the ears are those of Tony Abbott with a dash of Billy McMahon. There are elements of a certain rodent in the eyebrows and chin.
When it comes to the ticker , there could be a design fault here because it is modelled on the DNA of rubber faced Peter Costello who lost heart and departed. The monster will have the boarding school accent of Alexander Downer and the accounting skills of Barnacle Bill , still missing on a droving trip with Clancy of the Overflow on the Barcoo.
Taken out of mothballs, the double -breasted suit of the great Liberal leader, Sir Robert Menzies , will give the hulk added gravitas. When the great big new leader is out campaigning he will be armed with the Coalition’s iron bar with which to beat that ABC 7.30 Report fiend , “Red ” Kerry O’Brien , to a pulp before he can ask one embarrassing question.
Luckily for Darwin, this whopper new monster will not require a massive bolt of electricity like Frankenstein to bring it to life, so the power supply should be safe –unless a macho gecko swings on the transmission line like Tarzan. The nouveaux riche monster will be activated by a massive transfusion of blood and bile from kind mining company magnates . It will immediately spring to its feet , smiling like a Cheshire cat , and begin slapping people on the back and kissing petrified babies in shopping malls , causing them to break out in repulsive eczema .
