CAPTAIN COOK MYSTERY CONTINUES IN NORTH QUEENSLAND

This  very day it   is  possible  to experience  the  same strange   force which  surprised    Captain  James Cook in 1770 . While exploring  the Australian east coast,  Captain Cook noticed that  his  compass  went  haywire when he  sailed  by  a  mountainous  island ,  so  named  it  Magnetic Island .

Today the  vehicular  barge service   which runs   between Townsville and the  island experiences  the  same  interference  as  that  of  Captain Cook .    A Little Darwin  roving  reporter discovered  this  situation  when  he  went to pay for  a  car on  a  barge.  The  woman  handling the transaction  twice  encountered   difficulties printing out  the ticket   with  the  computer  and  said  it  happened  regularly when  the  vessel was  close  to  the  island .

When  asked  if  it  was the  same situation as  experienced by Captain Cook, she replied in the  affirmative,  added  that  it could also  affect  settings  in  the  wheelhouse . So  there  you  are , me hearties  and landlubbers, you can sail in  the wake of   Cap'n  Cook ,  not  get  scurvy  during  the  voyage , and  be  greeted  by  hula  girls when you land - in your dreams .    

ABBOTT CAMP TURNS SNAKY

CANBERRA : The Liberal Party has been shaken to its very foundations due to the dire prediction by refined  former First Lady ,Tamie Fraser, that the popularity  poll  ratings  of  PM Tony Abbott  will  soon plunge lower than the duodenum on her pet python, Percy. The shock statement caused the Coalition Think Tank to call an emergency meeting in the  Funk  Bunker to  dream up ways to  get  Percy pointing skywards . This  serious situation is further   proof that PM Abbott , described  as  toxic to the outcome of  the  Victorian election  and now revealed as  playing no part in the sneaky Queensland  election , is regarded as like clutching a viper to  your  bossom  on the  campaign  trail, and that  Tamie  is  spot  on .

Queensland reptile soon to  launch itself into  attack .

BUCKLEE BELL'S FREAK MUSEUM INCLUDES A SUPER BANANA WITH A QUEENSLAND INPUT / BILL GATES / OPRAH

The  inimitable art of  American Bucklee  Bell  often expresses  his concern  about  important  global  issues-such as  genetic modification (GM)  of  plants. The showman in the centre of his above  painting  welcomes one and all to  Monsanto's  Garden  Freak  Museum .

Here in Australia where  we are force fed sport, sport and more sport , fireworks, celebrities and  triviality in  much of the media , GM  gets  little coverage . Recently, however , the Weekend Australian  ran a  report  about  China  refusing to accept  American  GM  hay which has  caused  consternation .  The American not  for profit , independent  journalism for positive change website,    NationofChange , has long been running  reports about the   GM  battle in  America  and  in  other  parts of  the world .

It  ran the  Chinese rejection of US hay before  it got a  mention here  in Australia. Another  item of  deep interest to Australia    covered  by the Nationof Change was  that  the Alliance of Food Sovereignty Africa  (AFSA) has written  to the  Gates  Foundation  expressing concern about  a "  super banana " developed   in the US  with  foundation money  and Queensland University of Technology  researchers , soon to be  tested on humans . If considered  okay, it would  be  further tested  in places like Uganda . Surely there is a major news story here  in  Queensland  and elsewhere  in Australia ?

( Incidently,Gates and  party recently flew into Townsville in two jets and  went out to a  luxury yacht, which  from a distance  looked like the flagship of the US Seventh  Fleet , and went diving on a wreck. Wonder if they got stuck into the local bananas and Bowen  mangoes  ?)

NationofChange  also  reported that Oprah was  under attack over  running a GM  product in her magazine . This comes at a  time when  the  excellent, very chewy  ABC  consumer  show The Checkout  reported that Oprah  loves running   items  about so called   wonder   ingredients   from  jungles  or  distant lands  with claimed  health benefits which  by and large don't stand  up  to  medical and scientific  examination  or  claims of people  flogging  them . 

NEXT : Politics , Cheney  and  water boarding , the use of  drones  in  warfare...just for starters.

ROOF WITH A VIEW AND HAzArDs



A parable for stupid senior citizens . 

 

On two occasions  women doctors have firmly told me that men over 60 should  not  ascend   ladders ,  clamber   onto  roofs , climb  trees .  Both  said  emergency  wards  of  hospitals  were  filled  with  men  PM Bob Hawke  would  have described as  silly old buggers.  When I described  one of my symptoms as light headedness at  times  when firmly on the ground , sitting in front of the idiot box, a  doctor , 10 years ago, rolled her  eyes ,when I said I had been up on the roof cleaning out the  gutters, sweeping  , taking photographs . 

Since then , I must admit , I have climbed to great (dangerous ) heights , as it were , in  Darwin and North Queensland, and I am past three score and 10 . In my latest alpine adventure , just before  Christmas,  I felt certain that one of the pesky possums had jammed  itself  in  the guttering downpipe. While  borrowing  the neighbour’s ladder , a  woman  said a possum had  died in her  downpipe years ago and  stank  to the high heavens . 

Not wanting  Santa to be put off   by such a  stench ,  I decided to ignore  medical advice and clamber up into the  gods. Before lift off, I psyched myself to be ultra careful  and tackle  the task scientifically.  Importantly, I told myself  to only  walk on the   iron sheets over the verandah , not the  brittle  plastic ones.  A broom , bucket  and  secateurs were  put  up  on  the roof , ready  for action . 

Then I buckled on a  pair of  sandals the German wildlife carer known as the Queen of the  Jungle had given me  to wear about the garden . She had hardly worn  them   and  they  had  been  in  a  shed  for years . No sign of a  jammed possum was  found ;  the  gutters were  cleared  out ; fallen nuts  swept  off  with  gusto. Then  decided  to  cut back as many  palm fronds  near  the roof as possible in what proved to be a  vain  bid to stop  the  possums  from their noisy , nightly  jaunts .

 

Had to lean out  to reach  and wrestle with some  fronds- but did not plummet to earth. Finished, paused to admire the view , walked  back  across the roof to the back verandah and decided to make one more  check to see that  a  skinny possum  was  not   jammed in the  elbow.  Put  foot  on a  plastic sheet- crunch- flung myself  forward onto metal sheeting to prevent falling through.  Okay .  Check again that there is no possum , then  climb down ladder. Walk down the side of  the  house , and   sandals  felt  strange ... soles  had   become detached   and were  hanging  by  the  ankle straps only . Had  this  happened while leaning out over the roof , Houston , the  Eagle could  have  landed  in  spectacular  fashion .

GOURMET DRACULA LUSTS AFTER CHEESE , NOW ON THE PROWL

Dracula  in  a  basket  studying   cheese   list.

It  had  to happen : Dracula , the  friendly Coucal  , above , has  been set  free  on Magnetic Island, North Queensland . He will  miss  sinking  his  beak into pieces of expensive Dutch Maasdam   cheese  fed  to  him  as  a special treat over the festive season  by  the German  wildlife carer known as   the  Queen of  the Jungle who acted as his  nanny in recent weeks , preparing him for  release into  the  wild.   Dracula  was raised by the owners of  the Man Friday  café on  the island after  he was rescued as a young chick  from   possible death  from  a  hungry  Kookaburra eyeing  off a  Coucal  family. UPDATE: After overnight rain, Dracula dropped  in on the Queen of the Jungle for  a  piece of  cheese, then  headed off  to map out his territory in the wild. 

Coucal strolling through a Darwin .Northern Territory , retirement village  garden,not far from where a drunken ,nude  driver , with a female passenger in a state of undress , ploughed  his car  into  this  very  fence  and  appeared  on  television, struggling  with  police .

 

LAMENT FOR THE VIC HOTEL

Journalist and  licorice stick player ,  Kim Lockwood , now residing in Melbourne , spent many years in Darwin and has  fond memories of The Vic Hotel ,  in the centre of  the photograph, looking wall eyed , backed by a multi-storey carpark .  He was saddened  by the news in  Little Darwin  that  the  watering hole frequented  by  many journos  had  been forced to  close last year,  and  sent this  comment  :

What a dreadful shame. Even in recent years it had an upstairs bar (where the Darwin Press Club met) and a reasonably busy arcade of dress shops and takeaway food. I have fond memories of my days working for Big Jim (Bowditch )  and knocking off  work and going over to The Vic beer "garden" (concrete) for a jar or three with Rex Clarke, Doggie Booth, Bob Pritchard (you won't remember him) and assorted others. We'd be entertained in the wet season by the late Cowboy Bill (aka Bill Garrison, real name Bill Goss) reciting poetry and promising to pay back his debts and the almost nightly biffo between a couple of drunks. The cops would saunter round from Bennett St and haul them off to the cooler, from where we could hear their abuse of the cops and each other. If I had a lazy few million I'd buy it and return it to its former glory. Drunks included.

Opposite The Vic in the photograph is the Star Theatre Arcade, the  famous open air picture show  long  gone , finally destroyed  in  Cyclone Tracy . Movie patrons would dash across the road to the pub for a drink at interval . One of the many characters who drank there over the years was John  the Log,  so named after he had been at the wheel  of a getaway car in a London bank holdup and could not  start  the vehicle.  

RAIN - NOT GOLD - WANTED AT END OF RAINBOW IN TOWNSVILLE

Darwin contacts have received close to 170mm of rain in past two days.UPDATE: At least 70mm  here  , Curlews busy chasing  clouds of flying ants, air smells  of  fragrant  frangipani, their flowers scattered on the ground as if there has been a wedding  , cooler , ants  coming  out of  computer . Feel half sane . Daughters arriving  later  today...another treat .