MELBOURNE: It can be exclusively revealed the reason why Prime Minister Scott Morrison failed to be seen anywhere on election day in Victoria is because he was engaged in top secret talks with an influential American female strategist who has many friends in the Washington Swamp . She is none other than that cute grunter from Iowa , Miss Piggy , star of the Muppet Show , upon which the Australian Coalition government is modelled
The highly popular porcine person is shown whispering into the PM's shell pink strong advice for the looming federal election campaign to prevent the government being reduced to pork belly futures rejects . She was able to get closer to ScoMo than Pamela Anderson ever could while he was drawing up plans for Operation Oink to stop Bill Shorten from bringing home the bacon and onion bedded democracy sausage next year .
During the vital tete-a-tete , she explained she is a sensitive feminist pig who likes to use French swear words and deliver karate chops on people who annoy her, get in the way of her plans to become a star , grab centre stage . According to a leak , it is said Miss Piggy asked the PM if there are any male chauvinist pigs in the Liberal Party she should meet to discuss election plots to muddy the election issues .
Once described as a truckdriver wanting to become a woman , Miss Piggy secured a promise from ScoMo that she can drive his bus during the federal election . While at the wheel , she would try and avoid running over frogs and cane toads while zooming along the Bruce Highway in Queensland , because while her husband, Kermit, is a happily married frog , he can't stop himself hopping from one pond to another , risking roadkill in the process.
Once described as a truckdriver wanting to become a woman , Miss Piggy secured a promise from ScoMo that she can drive his bus during the federal election . While at the wheel , she would try and avoid running over frogs and cane toads while zooming along the Bruce Highway in Queensland , because while her husband, Kermit, is a happily married frog , he can't stop himself hopping from one pond to another , risking roadkill in the process.
