Thursday, August 10, 2017


S(h)ipping  Reporter  Word  Exclusive 
In a closely guarded ,  secret location in Townsville , above , an  instant  lend-lease  missile  base  is  being rapidly  constructed  to   shower  the  bellicose  North Korean  leader  , King Kong Jong -Ill,  with   ICBMs  carrying  thousands of  miniaturised   rough   ends  of   Queensland  Golden  Circle  pineapples.  
These  warheads  will   be delivered  just as  blubbery  King Kong  throws  a  leg over a  poor Shetland  pony, his  vitals exposed to  attack  ,  at  the start of  a  daily gallop   imitating  John Wayne  in  the  epic  western movie , True  Boofhead.
 Townsville  reporters , as usual , are  not  aware of the  frenzied  waterfront   activity  because  they  do not venture down near  the sea,   have not  received a Pentagon  media   hand  out  and   are  too  busy  watching  social  media .

However,   our   waterfront  roundsman ,   the  only one  north of  Wagga Wagga , was  tipped off  about  the  hush-hush  missile  base  while  s(h)ipping  soda  in  Molly  Malone's  Irish  bar .

The chairman of the Disaster Management Group ,  Cairns Regional Council, Terry James,   has  been  reported  as saying   a nuclear attack on the area has  never been considered. In  a  worst case scenario , the council  would ask  Defence   for instructions on  how to react . The Cairns paper  ran  the  strange heading: City in  range  but  safe... Cairns low as  North Korea missile  target . 

 In the case of  the Townsville City  Council , calling for  numerous  shovel ready  projects to get off  the ground , a strategically  placed  nuke  which  caused water to  flow  freely   from the  Burdekin  without cost  to  ratepayers  would  be  regarded as a positive act  , which the  Murdoch  Townsville   Bulletin would  no doubt applaud .