Sunday, January 3, 2016

PENTAGON GOES BALLISTIC OVER NEW CHINESE TERRITORY DEAL

Text message to editor of Northern Territory News on December 18 asked if another  visit  to China by the Chief Minister and a "chosen few" meant  more assets were being  discounted  for  Christmas or  the  Boxing Day  sales .

WASHINGTON: Defence  top brass here are  fuming over the deal to allow a Chinese company to build a  huge, combined  dim sim and Fortune Cookie factory next to the American Pine Gap spy base  at Alice Springs .

An angry four and  a half star  general, who often appears on Fox News , baying for Julian Assange's head , exclusively told Little Darwin  the factory will be higher  than  the  world's tallest  tower  in  Dubai .

"Right next to Pine Gap !" he  screamed  in disbelief .""What is going on in the Northern Territory-first handing the Darwin Port over to a Chinese company and now  this?" 

The  general  stunned our   reporter , wearing a trendy flak jacket and an All The Way With LBJ  pin ,  souvenir of a  great moment  between two nations when the  Tory NSW premier with a love of brown paper bags   said to drive over the   Aussies  demonstrating against the Vietnam war ,  by  revealing   that  a  tap of all  Territory communications discovered  the  government is  even going to allow the latest Chinese  aircraft  carrier,recently in Brisbane, to take part in  this year's Henley on Todd  Regatta from which it  could easily bombard  Pine Gap  with  flour  bombs  and  water cannon .

It has even  been  suggested  that  former federal treasurer Joe Hockey could be  expelled  as  the Aussie ambassador because of the American  anger , making him the shortest serving ambassador in  the history of  diplomacy  and  jobs  for the boys.
 
The irate general  revealed  the US Defence Department  has obtained a sample of the  Fortune Cookies and their messages  , which include obvious  bogus sayings by  Confucius , that will be produced  in  the  suspicious  steaming  dim  sim  factory printery .

One  inscrutable  saying , clearly  not the  words of  that wise old Oriental gentleman, nevertheless   goes :  Confucius  say sand  in  Vaseline  jar  not as  irritating  as   sand castles  in  South China  Sea . 

Jumping up and down , the  general said  this Fortune Cookie proved the Chinese   were  taking the piss out  of the most  powerful nation  on earth  with  the  help  of  the  pissant Northern Territory government. The general intimated  someone's ass  could  end up in a sling  after this snafu Down Under , which  will   upset  the RSPCA   and  threaten  the  very ANZUS  Treaty .