Exclusive Little Darwin photograph of a charming infant dumped by a runaway mother with a heartrending note on the doorstep of parliament house. Her tragic, tear stained message says her lovechild is named Malcolm Meerkat , and she would like to see him baptised in the historic Ebenezer Uniting Church , on the Hawkesbury River , near Sydney, and circumcised with the claw of a yabbie by Annabel Crabb .
Wrapped in the basket with the babe was an autographed Tom Hughes cricket bat used to drive anti Vietnam War protestors off his lawn when he was attorney general . Canberra insiders predict this bat will be needed to defend young Malcolm from the nasty right wing jackals who will be after his guts .
Another exclusive snap is believed to be Malcolm's parents in a passionate embrace before they were attacked by scrawny necked media vultures and separated forever .
Meanwhile , in the much anticipated love in at Adelaide Zoo , the city of churches has been placed in instant lockdown after the male Panda Bear escaped through a window of opportunity in the love nest cage .The randy Panda is now chasing anything in skirts in the city and was last seen lumbering up Hindley Street heading for the smelly pie floater cart.
 |
| Honey Bait |
