CANBERRA X-FILE REVEALED

Receptive Uncle Chris 

Many people are  heard  proclaim  that  Australia Felix  has  been taken over by   barbarians , that  this  is not  the  same  nation  of  a few  years  ago.    However, a strong  believer  in  UFOs   and  the spooky  X-Files   has  come up  with   a  stunning  theory , backed  by  pictorial  evidence, that  Canberra  is  in  the  hands  of  Martians and  Reject Shop androids.  He  vows  and declares  that  during  the   current  sittings  of  the  House  of  Representatives ,  the manager of government business , Education  Minister  Christopher Pyne,  was  seen  rotating his index  finger  near  his  right  ear .  Sleepy media  members    took  this  to  mean he was  just  adding  to the civilised  debate  promised  by  Coalition on  first  coming  to  power , making  out  that  Opposition  Leader Bill Shorten , boring   it  up  the PM  and  other  mugwumps , was  loopy.

But ,  the  UFO  specialist says this action confirms that Pyne is , brace yourself   dear  readers ,  a  Martian!!!! Why? Because , he said,  soon after  Pyne  made that gesture  an  antenna emerged from  the  minister’s noggin ... like a scene from  the TV sitcom  My Favorite Martian . In  the popular show, alien  Uncle  Martin  often  had  a  problem picking  up messages from Mars because  of  sunspot activity  and  raised  his  antenna  by  secret  digital  manipulation.

The  UFO authority  said  Pyne  obviously  rotated  his  digit  to improve reception of  alien orders from  the warlike planet  of  Mars .  At first , this  blog  scoffed  at  the  idea  until  our  informant  produced  convincing  pictorial  evidence , the  gear sticking out of  Pyne's  head  and  his X-ray vision  spectacles .  

In  the TV show , the  Martian was  somebody’s favourite uncle. It  is  hard  to  believe  that   Pyne  could  be  anybody’s  favourite  uncle - in  outer space or in  Adelaide  ,  but  there you go , there is no  accounting for  taste  in  the  City  of  Churches  where  a  pie  floating  in  pea soup  is  the  epitomy  of   grouse  tucker.

 The   trembling  X-File man  then  produced  the above photograph  of  a   flying saucer with  a  nipple ,  obviously  from  the  comely planet  Venus, which  he claims  was snapped  hovering  over  Canberra’s   Black  Mountain.