Sunday, June 1, 2014

LADY ADDLE TO REPLACE BRONWYN BISHOP


Her  Ladyship 
LONDON :  The  Queen   today  announced   that    decorous  aristocrat  , Lady  Addle , shown  here  flaunting  her   priceless  bling,  will  be  parachuted  in  to sit on   the  Orstralian  House of   Representatives throne .     Her     Majesty   said     that  as  the  Abbott   government   is  making  so  many  addle-brained    decisions , Lady Addle will  feel at  home , mixing  with  forelock  tugging   true  blue  kith  and  kin  and  Kath  and  Kim  types .  
 
 Lady  Addle  used  to be  a  pin-up  girl  in  India  during  the  days  of   the  British  Raj . Her  steamy  memoirs ,  soon  to  be  published  in  the  French  tabloids , will   reveal  that  she,  like  Grace  Kelly , had  links  with   several  heads  of  state ,  including  Boofhead  lll ,  ruler of  a  tax dodging   dungheap .  In  an  unfortunate slip of the tongue  during  and exclusive  interview  with  Lizzie  Twostroke (QE ll) ,  she  told  Little  Darwin  that the  present  House of  Representatives  Speaker , Ms  Brontosaurus (sic ),  deserved  a  break   and  had  thoroughly  approved  Lady  Addle   as  her  replacement.
 
 Brontosaurus (sic)  would  be made Keeper of  the Cinq  Ports  , like  Sir Robert  Menzies  , and  wear  a  cocked hat  , robes .   To   make Lady Addle  feel  at home , the  Speaker had ordered   new  side  plates  in  the  Speaker’s    Queen’s  design  crockery  dining  set  to replace  ones  smashed   by  plutocrats  who   drink too much Grange during   fund raising   functions  and   collapse  on  the shag  pile. An  order has  also been placed for a new Royal Doulton  tea  service with handpainted   periwinkle   handles , brought out  in   daily conflabs  with   the   Manager  of   Government   Business.
 
 In Canberra   this   morning  , Speaker  Bishop  said  she   welcomed the  appointment  of  Lady  Addle .  As  the  majestic  woman   had   dealt with   Untouchables  in  India  during  the  Indian  Mutiny , which she  had  helped quell by wielding   a jewelled  sceptre ,  she  would  have   no  trouble  handling  the  Opposition  members  and  the   Queensland  outcast  Palmer  wild  turkey / duck  in  parliament .