Thursday, April 22, 2010

ALICE SPRINGS NAME SHOCK

In a brilliant example of de Bono’s lateral thinking , Alice Springs is to be renamed ALASKA ! The moose shooting Governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin , agreed to the name swap in exchange for a blunderbuss, a mess of salt petre ,a sack of rusty nails and several beads and mirrors. Palin has a bright new political future as a TV provocateur inciting the nation’s multitudinous maddies to plug the president.

Little Darwin can reveal that the Henderson Government and NT tourist industry head , Sylvia Wolf , have been working on this stunning name exchange ever since the temporary ice skating rink was set up in Alice last year and proved such a hit with locals and tourists.

As part of the breathtaking deal, the NT Government has offered Mel Brooks $10 million to stage Hitler on Ice in Alice each Christmas for the next three years . Other planned icy spectaculars will be The Sound of Music , Gone With The Wind , On Frozen Pond , Titanic- on- Todd and the Canadian Mountie musical, Rose Marie I Love You.

Little Darwin has been told another extravaganza, complete with live polar bears,a colony of Emperor penguins and NZ fur seals , has a title like Pollies On Extremely Thin Ice . Ms Wolf had to make several secret flights to Alaska to negotiate the deal with Palin . Unfortunately, the airline service to Alaska is like that in the NT and she often found flights cancelled without notice due to volcanic eruptions, vicious Republican flak and lost luggage or had to share a row of seats with tanked Darwin yobs.

According to an icy pop licking spin doctor , the grand scheme to change Alice to Alaska has been released early to help Centralians get over the deep depression caused by not being visited by the Crusty Demons.

Ice making machines will be flown in from Dubai to coat the MacDonnell Ranges so that Alice-now Alaska- will offer year - round skiing holidays for beautiful people. Standley Chasm will be converted into a glacier made from frozen water extruded from the town sewage treatment plant.

Alice Springs police will wear new uniforms designed by the NT Police Association , similar to that of the Canadian Mounties , with lemon squeezer hats and be given a generous after hours maple syrup allowance . Tennant Creek has not been forgotten in the grand plan to bring back the ice age. As Tennant used to be called Siberia , the government is looking at setting up an enviro- tourism attraction like a high class gulag in the town.
NEWSFLASH: So that residents north of the Berrimah Line do not feel left out in the heat, Norwegian Olympic ice skating champ Sonja Henie will give a demonstration of her skills on a walking frame in a special rink set up in Darwin's convention centre.