Sunday, November 30, 2008

WHEELS FALLING OFF AMERICA

The recession is so bad in America , economists predict that bicycles will soon replace cars as the main means of transport in the country. Already millions of Americans have sold their cars and taken to the road on made in China bicycles.

In this way America is starting to resemble China during Chairman Mao’s days when the main source of transport was the ubiquitous bike. Little Darwin can reveal that President Obama will be driven about in an armour –plated executive tricycle followed by security men on skateboards and scooters .

Instead of wearing fake expensive designer labels clothes, most Americans now wear black Chinese coolie suits as they pedal along, swearing in mandarin at the Dukes of Hazzard hoons who refuse to part with their gas guzzlers. In another telling move, the old tune about loving my bicycle has shot to the top of the pops five weeks in a row.

The New York Stock Exchange is in the process of being converted into an instant flat tyre repair workshop where customers receive unlimited hot air and axle grease courtesy of the free –wheeling finance industry. And early this morning CNN reported that Michael Jackson was seen sharing a bicycle built for two with a monkey. Naturally, the intelligent chimp was doing the steering while Jackson was licking a Middle East ice cream and looking for his other glove.