Friday, November 28, 2008

SOUR GRAPES OUST MISS NT LEMON

Stories posted on the Little Darwin blog are often cryptic ones containing hidden inside information from various corridors of power. For example, our exclusive story about Federal Shadow Treasurer , Julie Bishop , being voted Miss NT Lemon Squash by the Humpty Doo Lemon Growers’ Association carried the secret message that she is about to be tossed on Canberra’s fruity compost heap .

No sooner had we posted our exclusive story than the Weekend Australian revealed the Bishop is about to be defrocked, figuratively speaking , because her colleagues have gone sour on her performance , both in the House of Reps and on the celebrity dance floor. Her failure to scrape the zest from Federal Treasurer, Wayne Swan , in the steamy parliamentary kitchen has upset true blue Libs. Her male buddies, feeling the sap rising because of the approach of Spring , want to squeeze her out – hence our brilliant cryptic lemon scoop.

Little Darwin understands Ms Bishop will be given a new, highly regarded job : polishing the prized thistle of the late Liberal Party’s founder, Sir Robert Menzies. In this capacity she may also be responsible for barnacle control in the Cinque Ports, using lemon- charged detergent to make sure all yachts have a smooth bottom like Dame Patti - Australia’s early America’s Cup entrant.

There is no truth in the wild rumour that Ms Bishop and former Federal Treasurer, Peter Costello, both legal eagles, have been asked by an anonymous West Australian businessman to back a venture selling law diplomas through the mail to students in Nigeria.