Monday, September 15, 2008

TERRITORY COPPERS GET THE HUMP

An American solution has been found to the acute shortage of police in the Northern Territory : camels! Yes, ugly looking dromedaries . An increasing number of American law enforcement agencies have been signing on plodding camels. The camels are proving to be more intelligent than your average Yankee copper and several have already been promoted to senior positions. One camel was even placed on guard duty in the White House rose garden but was moved after he ate all the Peace roses and crapped on the president’s rostrum . Little Darwin can exclusively reveal today that 10 camels will take up duty in Alice Springs next week. They will arrive in a chauffeur driven stretch limo and after being put through a car wash will be lodged in high rollers suites at the casino for the first month in the Alice.
The camel coppers will spearhead a zero tolerance drive against crime in the town. They have been instructed to spit in the eye of troublemakers, eat all dope crops and bite the ears and hands of people who just look suspicious in the Mall . Two camels on Harleys will run an American style highway north and south from Alice. Each one will be armed with Dirty Harry specials and shoot out the tyres of speeding truckies and other dingbats who believe you should be able travel at the speed of sound on the highway.
Camels do not cost as much as human police officers and this will release funds so that the government can subsidise more large mining companies and tax dodging ventures.