A daring new political party has been secretly drawing up plans to contest the next NT election . It has a most unusual name : the Curvaceous Lip Party (CLP) . And its trump card will be a team of bearded female candidates like the refined ladies in the Pommie comedy show , Little Britain . It firmly believes this strategy will reduce the Country Liberals and the ALP to a mere whisker . Before the recent election the ALP sported a beard like Santa but now has a closely cropped pudding basin haircut. On the other hand , the Country Libs are bouffant and aggressive as Aunty Jack.
The Curvaceous Lip Party is so determined to win it will try anything - even follicly endowed women . Secret polling carried out for the CLP revealed that most Territory men , of all political persuasions , have wild fantasies about femmes avec beaucoup de beaver.
The extensive survey involved mild mannered drinkers at the Humpty Doo Pub, the Discovery nightclub , the Mitchell Street open air biff parlour , the Vic Hotel, long grass speakeasies , the Noonamah Frog Hospital, Tennant Creek’s famous pubs with no beer and the Alice Springs YWCA.
Curvaceous Lip Party spokesman , Lady Sunbeam, looking particularly smooth after a Full Monty body wax , became hairy with reporters when interrogated about the strategy of this outrageous party at a media conference in the popular Throb nightclub. As everybody knows, Throb is a popular rendezvous for political activists . Its Michelin rated menu includes pickled rarebit which is popular with Darwin’s numerous Welsh heterosexuals.
At first, Lady Sunbeam angrily stated that the astonishing survey findings were confidential, but later admitted that comely female candidates with an abundance of facial hair will lead the CLP grab for power. These candidates will wear stunning dresses like the refined ladies in Little Britain, but modified because of the Territory’s sweaty conditions. The elaborate gowns of the gentile Little Britain women would lead to an outbreak of prickly heat in most uncomfortable places, Lady Sunbeam explained to drongo male reporters.
Like those cute sheilas in Little Britain , they will drink from Royal Doulton beer mugs with handpainted periwinkle handles and nibble Lebanese cucumber sandwiches while mixing with leering , thong - wearing, hairy - chested voters at fund raising soirees . Lady Sunbeam urged all patriotic bewhiskered women to come to the aid of the party. Women who only sport hairy armpits are not wanted by the CLP, unless they engage in a crash course of fourex strength hormones.
With slight modifications , she revealed the giant moustache hung from the Legislative Assembly during the MOVEMBER fund raising campaign will become the CLP’s election logo. The Curvaceous Lip Party will inject much needed new life into the body politic, especially on Facebook , and cause a boom in the hairdressing industry. As part of its campaign to win community support , it will sponsor a tonsorial art exhibition in the new Darwin conference centre each leap year. FRINGE ATTACK : The ALP called in dirty tricks strategist Hirsute Harry to combat the Curvaceous crowd . He immediately slipped into a cone of silence - and emerged as the Man From Pantene , his hair in rollers and wearing pink , fluffy slippers – the ALP answer to women with fungus features.
The Curvaceous Lip Party is so determined to win it will try anything - even follicly endowed women . Secret polling carried out for the CLP revealed that most Territory men , of all political persuasions , have wild fantasies about femmes avec beaucoup de beaver.
The extensive survey involved mild mannered drinkers at the Humpty Doo Pub, the Discovery nightclub , the Mitchell Street open air biff parlour , the Vic Hotel, long grass speakeasies , the Noonamah Frog Hospital, Tennant Creek’s famous pubs with no beer and the Alice Springs YWCA.
Curvaceous Lip Party spokesman , Lady Sunbeam, looking particularly smooth after a Full Monty body wax , became hairy with reporters when interrogated about the strategy of this outrageous party at a media conference in the popular Throb nightclub. As everybody knows, Throb is a popular rendezvous for political activists . Its Michelin rated menu includes pickled rarebit which is popular with Darwin’s numerous Welsh heterosexuals.
At first, Lady Sunbeam angrily stated that the astonishing survey findings were confidential, but later admitted that comely female candidates with an abundance of facial hair will lead the CLP grab for power. These candidates will wear stunning dresses like the refined ladies in Little Britain, but modified because of the Territory’s sweaty conditions. The elaborate gowns of the gentile Little Britain women would lead to an outbreak of prickly heat in most uncomfortable places, Lady Sunbeam explained to drongo male reporters.
Like those cute sheilas in Little Britain , they will drink from Royal Doulton beer mugs with handpainted periwinkle handles and nibble Lebanese cucumber sandwiches while mixing with leering , thong - wearing, hairy - chested voters at fund raising soirees . Lady Sunbeam urged all patriotic bewhiskered women to come to the aid of the party. Women who only sport hairy armpits are not wanted by the CLP, unless they engage in a crash course of fourex strength hormones.
With slight modifications , she revealed the giant moustache hung from the Legislative Assembly during the MOVEMBER fund raising campaign will become the CLP’s election logo. The Curvaceous Lip Party will inject much needed new life into the body politic, especially on Facebook , and cause a boom in the hairdressing industry. As part of its campaign to win community support , it will sponsor a tonsorial art exhibition in the new Darwin conference centre each leap year. FRINGE ATTACK : The ALP called in dirty tricks strategist Hirsute Harry to combat the Curvaceous crowd . He immediately slipped into a cone of silence - and emerged as the Man From Pantene , his hair in rollers and wearing pink , fluffy slippers – the ALP answer to women with fungus features.
