OTTO SAILS INTO NEW DOMINION

 

Wasting no time, days ago, Otto's  extended its empire  from  the  mainland to Nelly Bay ,  Magnetic Island- even with  a  car  sporting  an  island logo . 

Vallis photos.

A NEW NORMAL (?) AUSTRALIA

 A  golden opportunity to present  a proud  new  fly- blown  image to the world after the lockdown .

To lift the spirit of the nation after all this year's dramas  and trials, including being  thumped again  by the Kiwi All Blacks  and currently being thrashed by India in  the cricket Test, we have resurrected this Peter  Burleigh    vision  for   a  brave new   Oz , a  happy  republic , girt  by  barriers . 

All  that is  required, he says, is that we first  change  the  Pommie and  convict   influence in  the  names of  the states and territories that make up  this   great  sun  and   bushfire ravaged  country .

A sensitive  soul, Burleigh  is an architect, cartoonist,illustrator , advertising guru , renowned Australian diplomat   and   a  past contributor  to  this  blog  , his  Bulldust  Diary , about a  fishing and  drinking  safari across  the  top of  Australia , a  classic .  

He clearly outlines  the courageous way  forward  for  Aussies  to  throw off  the shackles  of  the  past ,especially  2020. 

Before Australia declares itself to be a republic, there’s something more important to do and that is, rename every one of our States. "This may be a pioneering idea but before you conclude I’m a vote short of a quorum I ask you to  think about it," Burleigh wrote .

A credible republic must eliminate monarchist names like Queens Land and Victoria. Even worse are the names the Poms used when they couldn’t think of anything – South Australia, Western Australia and especially The Northern Territory. As poetic as mud. You might as well call those places "Down There", "Over There" and "Up There". If you were trying for colourlessness, and if you could spell it, you couldn’t have picked better names. (I don’t know what to say about Tasmania, although "mania" is a good start.)Canada is an independent Dominion with lots of non-Poms who speak Quebecoise– for example, "le weekend", yet they hang on to names like British Columbia, New Scotland and Northwest Territories. They were nominated for the "Best Blandness" Oscar.

 Even Holland, one of the more uninspired countries as far as names go, has a state named after Limburg cheese, and Austria is named after Australia*, at least the Americans think so. If our country really is young and free, let’s start the bottle spinning with a few suggestions : 

South Australia: Jacob’s Creek (or Tween).

Western Australia: New Broome (or Wazza).

Northern Territory: Norn Terry (or Barraland).

Queens Land: Peanutbutt (or Banananannia).

New South Wales: Nowhere Near Wales

Tasmania: Even Lower Down (or Maniacs).

ACT: Australian Capital Purgatory.

Victoria: Billabong Flats.

You’ll notice my suggestions aren’t flippant. I could have put in Bob Katter or Kerrie Ann. I’ve seen a W.A. numberplate which said "State of Excitement", so don’t suggest names like" State of Denial" or "Grace" or "Hysteria" – we can do better than that.

 Be proud! Call a State a State. Remember we are part of   Asia; maybe we should use Chinese names. You think of some more names while I work on the new State Emblems. The new  RepOz (Republic of Australia) will be grateful. All of us could get knighthoods.*And in Norway, "aust" means "east".

LOW LEVEL FLIGHTS OF IMAGINATION

Photos by Aeronautical Correspondent, Abra .

POLITICAL GHOSTS FROM A PAST CHRISTMAS IN STEAMY DARWIN

 Attending the 2011 pre-Christmas sittings of the Northern Territory Legislative Assembly has been like a visit to Santa’s Choccywoccydoodah Cave in a cavernous departmental store - without a mob of stressed parents and screaming children in attendance . In fact, this ghost writer was the only person in  the public gallery and on  one occasion was the subject of  derisory comment  and  chuckles .

The jolly Christmas spirit literally kicked off when the Chief Minister, Paul Henderson, described the opposition CLP as gutless wonders and spineless. These festive season compliments failed to draw a reprimand from Madam Speaker, Jane Aagaard , as she seemed pre-occupied, looking at things on her throne, which from a distance seemed to be lists.

In an obvious Christmas frame of mind was Minister Kon Vatskalis, back from another trip to China where he addressed gatherings in Greco-Strine. On entering the chamber he quickly binned four pieces of paper from his desk ; then he began signing a pile of Christmas cards , ticking names off from a long mailing list. Paying no attention to the debate, Vatskalis signed each card with a flourish.

At one stage it looked as if Kon was saving the cost of a stamp and envelope when he passed a card to Marion Scrymgour, sitting behind him. She examined the card closely, smiled, passed it to Karl Hampton , who returned it to Kon . Perhaps it was some kind of new-fangled chain letter Xmas card, a boomerang ? The cards were being churned out in such large numbers that he ran out of ink, and groped around in a pouch for another pen. On the CLP side, Peter Chandler was also into the Chrissy spirit, signing cards and slipping them into envelopes.

While belting the CLP with a spikey holly branch and a stocking filled with sand , the Chief Minister used what could be regarded as an ageist expression-repeated-when he referred to prominent former CLP figures, Marshall Perron and Grant Tambling, as oldtimers . In this politically correct day and age , Santa Claus is not called an oldtimer, even though his bizarre whiskers indicate he is as old as Methuselah, or else the fungus is false- surely not ? Then, like one of those ghosts who used chimneys as a dumb waiter in a TV adaptation of a Chas. Dickens classic , the CM withdrew from vision, walking backwards out  a door.

It was then that CLP leader, Terry Mills, had the opportunity to say: Mixed nuts to you, Henderson ! The CM, he said , had been basking in the glory of  US President Obama's visit the day before. 

Yet, here in the Legislative Assembly, the next day, when  Territorians wanted a government to lead and serve them, Mills drew attention to the state of the public gallery. As stated above, I was the Lone Ranger. Stifling the urge to cartwheel along the gallery while juggling three mangoes, I beamed back like a loon, as  if the man with the NT Rent-A-Crowd franchise .

While this was going on , Vatskalis , busier than a man in a Nigerian telephone booth signing letters promising to make Aussie suckers filthy rich, was still  churning out the Chrissy cards . Mills did not mention Santa’s offsiders, the busy little elves. Instead , he scoffed at the "little hollow men, " who plotted things on the fifth floor, obviously responsible for mapping out Santa’s important NT flight plans, delivering toys to kiddies throughout this stateless part of  the nation,and somehow avoiding being breathalized.

Gazing down on those below from my lonely post, you could spot Christmas plum puddings in the making . They came in the shape of paunchy pollies. On the government side those obviously carrying weight were the CM , Karl Hampton , and Gerald McCarthy, the latter from a place which used to be called “ Siberia” - now a well- fed gulag - Tennant Creek.

On the Opposition side , Chandler took a drastic step during the year in the battle of the bulge when he had his stomach stapled and will almost certainly not come back for seconds on Christmas Day. Fong Lim flame, yummy flummery and voice thrower , Dave Tollner, now on the front bench, does not require a loudhailer as a Xmas present – his interjections are loud , many and mainly meaningless. 

Tollner was reprimanded for using unparliamentary language, to wit - "A STUFF. " In all probability, he was , innocently, thinking what the NT Government would do to a large turkey when he made the comment. Like Copernicus, Tollner probably upset the Vatican by loudly proclaiming in Darwin's imitation Chevy Chase National Lampoon Christmas Vacation studio that Triton is a moon, not a planet.

A COOL YULE AND A FRANTIC FIRST. In translation, an early Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year to all our Little Darwin blessed bloggers .

MOTLEY MOTHER'S INSPIRING STORY

 

The protective  Curlew in the centre of  this Christmas card drawn by artist Angie Pollock  is a  remarkable Magnetic Island  identity  responsible   for   raising  many  orphans. In 2008 , looking  forlorn , with  an  injured wing , scared of  the  world,  she  was  given   by  a  ranger  to  a  keen  wildlife  carer , Bev, from  the popular Man Friday Mexican and international cuisine cafe / restaurant , which has signs asking customers to heed the cry of the Curlew  and  watch out for  wallabies ,  who  took her  home .

 Because she  looked as if she  had been through the mill ,  scruffy, the name   Motley was bestowed upon her. She promptly  took   refuge  from   the  cruel  world  by  darting  into  a  walk  in   wardrobe .

There she  has  resided , on  and  off,  popping  out  to catch up on the world news , inspect the latest waifs .  She  has even allowed an abandoned  dog  named Wrinkles ,  also saved  by Bev , dressed up like a reindeer ( below ) over Christmas, to  come  into the wardrobe . Wrinkles  was  even invited to the Queen of the Jungle's Christmas  Day morning tea party  , treated to a saucer of diced  cheese.

 As  Bev brought home other unfortunate  Curlews , Motley's  mothering instincts came to  the fore . She treated  them  as if they were her  own . 

Mother superior  Motley held   by  Mexican mother Bev .

Eggs  abandoned  in various parts of  the island  for various  reasons , usually  due to  a  sad  event , the  death of  a  sitting bird,  received  Motley's  care , new   life  resulting. Over  the years , Motley  has  mothered  umpteen orphans , hatched  many. She even managed to  lay  eggs  herself, below . If Motley lived in  Russia ,she would undoubtedly  be awarded  the  Mother Heroine  Medal , annually. 

Bev's partner , Jason ,   also a wildlife carer and golfer, is  the  son of  the late  Max Carlos  ,  an  Australian  lightweight  boxing champion , who represented Australia  at the  l956 Melbourne Olympics . He is shown below, left, in an epic  1958  battle  with  Palm Island born  George Bracken in  Melbourne's so called  Hall of  Pain, Festival Hall .

Details of Max's boxing and business career, his wife Yvonne , currently  up from  Melbourne on  the island , and  his connection  with  Magnetic island  and the Townsville casino , were  posted  in Little Darwin . 

Motley , ever  ready for another   round  of  motherhood , knows  how it is to go  through lockdowns in a wardrobe  and  come  out  victorious . Tragically, a recently  recovered  and  released   Curlew   was  found in  the  gutter on  Boxing Day, apparently skittled by  a car , there being many vehicles on the island  during  the   holiday  period.

TOP END FINDS BY YOUNG EXPLORER

 Towering  Termites  and  Bowerbird Nest  

Sara  snaps taken  near  Darwin. .

CLOUDY WATERFRONT VISTAS , ACTION

 

Incognito. 

 

Photos  by  Abra , Vallis .