DARING A SWALLOW TO SWALLOW

Vallis photo.

ANOTHER VESSEL DOWN IN AUSSIE BERMUDA TRIANGLE : SHIPPING REPORTER SPECIAL FROM PRODUCTIVE PATROL

 

The above two shots show the latest yacht to sink  in Townsville  in an area  renowned for  coming to grief . The photo below is of another  yacht which sank in the Duck Pond in the past, as have others, usually without the local  waterfront shy media noticing , or  finally running belated   scant  details . 

MASSIVE EPIDEMIC OF ASIAN TORTURE VICTIMS DOWN UNDER FEARED

 Medical authorities throughout  the nation  are bracing themselves for an outbreak  of   men  suffering  from  wearing  bogus , cut  price   bamboo  underwear.

Wearing  DIY jocks made from bamboo is dangerous and painful , according  to  a  Grace Brothers floorwalker in  the  gents department . He cited  the  Canberra  case  of  a  man  (pictured),a frequent babbler and traveller ,  who became feverish  and developed  a  painful rash ,forcing him into quarantine ,  after he  foolishly   wore  home - made  bamboo boxer shorts , a  gift from  a secret  admirer  in  the   black  coal  industry .Soon after, the chafing caused by bamboo sticks rubbing together caused his pants  to catch fire. 

Ever  since the extensive advertising  campaign  about  the advantage of  wearing bionic   bamboo  undergarments   flooded   television,  Australia has been gripped  by  a  massive  outbreak  of  squeaky voiced   backyard   underwear  makers. 

The booming  bogus bamboo  underwear cottage industry  is tipped to make more money this month than Australia's wine, barley , chopsticks  and  imitation spring rolls  exports  to  China . 

In the rush to cash in  , numerous  large  clumps  of prize bamboo in botanical gardens have disappeared   overnight , a  lot seen  being  furtively moved into men's sheds under  the cover of  darkness, the  roar of  angle grinders and buzz saws  heard , disturbing  nearby  neighbours for months. During this frenzied activity, doctors warn  bamboo shoots  slip under  fingernails , into  various parts of  the body and grow  rapidly. producing what  has been branded down the  ages as Chinese, Japanese and Vietnamese   bamboo torture. .

An armed guard is expected to be placed on the above  cathedral like  clump of bamboo  near  Townsville   which  could be  turned into a mountain of   dodgy underwear  in  time for  the  Cricket   Boxing  Day sales .  

ISLAND CRUISING AND MURKY WATERS

 Exciting  opportunities and  destinations  in  the tropics revealed  on  public notice boards .

Displayed on the Horseshoe Bay newsagency  window is the above  invite by  Karl  for " 2 chill crew "  to  make regular  trips around Magnetic Island . No experience needed , but must share running costs ,help on deck .   On  the Nelly Bay shopping centre  notice board  is  the  call  for  PAUSE , an exhibition by appointment  in  Murky Waters  Studio, Townsville . Many and varied are the public notices  in North Queensland, which receive  little media  attention but increasingly scanned  and  covered by this blog. 

SPORTING KOOKABURRAS TAKE UP BIG GAME FISHING LIKE ZANE GREY

One of the signs that has gone up outside the Marlin Bar at  Horseshoe Bay , Magnetic Island , due to Kookaburra attacks on  outdoor    tucker   both there and in picnic shelters nearby . Our  Shipping Reporter  was patrolling the area recently when he witnessed a  daring   Kookaburra  swoop down, grab some meat from a plate , and fly off  with it to a young one nearby , giving the purloined  sirloin  a  snake- killing and  tenderising  couple of  whacks.

SERPENT GETS BUM'S RUSH IN HOLY LAND

 

Being firmly ushered off the premises  by two defensive Curlews  with outstretched wings on  either side , like the one above, a snake was recently seen being chased away in the Pope's Land , Magnetic Island . Curlews do not like snakes as they devour eggs and chicks .After this story was  posted  an island resident close to nature said Kangaroos and Wallabies attack snakes . He  had witnessed a  Wallaby  repeatedly  jumping on  a  Death Adder .  

AFTER THE WEDDING , MURIEL'S HONEYMOON IN AUSTRALIAN CACTUS COUNTRY WOULD SURELY HAVE MADE A BOX OFFICE HIT FILM

 

If you are an avid reader of  honeymoon literature , then the above presentation copy , signed by the author,  published  in  Brisbane in 1928,   in the current offerings of Douglas Stewart Fine Books, Melbourne, for  $550,  is your cup of  tea , desirable Christmas  reading . 

It was  written by adventurous Brisbane born schoolteacher Muriel Dorney, dux of her primary school,who missed out obtaining a teaching post in New Guinea before marrying. 

The dangerous 1926-l927 honeymoon trip of 6000 miles she and mechanically minded husband John  made  was  in the first  Willeys Overland  Whippet uncrated in the Queensland capital. The shortage of petrol outlets in those days was a problem for the couple. They headed north-west to Longreach ,Cloncurry, Avon Downs in the Northern Territory, Victoria  River Downs, Daly  Waters, Katherine  and  Darwin .

From there they went west to Broome ,down south to Perth  via Marble Bar and Peak Hill ,east to Coolgardie and Kalgoorlie ,across the Nullarbor via Fowler's Bay  to  Port  Augusta in South Australia ,then on to Adelaide ,Mount Gambier, Melbourne, Bendigo, Albury, Canberra,Sydney ,Newcastle ,Armidale ,Grafton and home to  Brisbane where they were received by a large  crowd .

John Dorney was born at Rockhampton ,Queensland, to Irish immigrant parents. He worked with  his father as a horse boy on Maneroo Station, Longreach, and also in a local cordial factory where he lost the sight of an eye in an accident . 

Rejected for military service, in l915 he joined the Western Motors company at Longreach in the early days of motor transport  . In l918 he started  the firm White and Dorney in Rockhampton, which had the only petrol bowser in town .  

He met Muriel while trying to sell her a  car in  Brisbane  . According to a fact sheet  the  couple worked at Goondiwindi, Charleville and Maryborough . By 1933  they opened   their own garage , a Ford agency, in Chinchilla, which they ran for 27 years. 

John Dorney was a foundation member of the National Council  of  Ford Dealers Australia ,was involved in politics and chairman of the Chinchilla  Shire Council , where he served  from l949  to l968 when he died . There is a memorial clock in  his  name  in Heeney Street .

UPCOMING : More interesting offerings from Douglas Stewart  including the photographic collection of another schoolteacher who worked as a missionary in  the  Trobriands early in the 20th century and wrote home about  the plight of women  .