BALLOONS KILL TURTLES

Visit the annual Darwin Show, exhibitions, trade fairs , even funerals , and you can’t help notice the large number of balloons,handed out to children ,or released, which can be seen drifting away in the sky. Pollies hand out balloons like fairy floss . Some of these must end up in the sea. The Turtle Lady of Great Keppel Island , Lindie Malan , has drawn attention to the danger of balloons to sea creatures. In a letter to the Magnetic Times online newspaper , she says turtles who eat balloons and other forms of plastic develop an intestinal blockage which causes the bladder to expand more and more,up to three times the normal. Unable to pee, they flop about in an emaciated state and slowly starve to death. Malan tells of confronting a person in a balloon shop who claimed the ballons were "biodegradable." When asked to eat three of them, the person declined . If Darwin is really fair dinkum about protecting the marine environment and the critters therein, and not engaging in mindless political stunts, then it should take REAL action over the massive release of balloons in the city.

BIG JIM BOWDITCH

At long last, a move is afoot to honour the Northern Territory's great crusading editor , James Frederick Bowditch. There used to be an award for print media in Bowditch’s name , but this seems to have disappeared, without explanation. Years ago, it was suggested that an electorate could be named after Bowditch, but it came to nothing. Little Darwin has been running his life story in serial form, another part ready to be posted in the near future.Photo of Big Jim in action by Kerry Byrnes of Arnhem Nursery .

WIRING CONCERNS AT MASONIC HOMES

Electrical wiring in the ceiling of every unit in the Tiwi Gardens villa section of the Masonic Homes retirement village is to be checked . It is understood particular attention will be given to the large number of downlights in each unit , close to 20, which give off considerable heat , and are not considered ideal for tropical areas , electrical storms likely to cause them to blow. Near the end of last year , a resident hired an electrician to do some extension work on his villa and was allegedly told that the wiring was sloppy and "very dangerous, " insulation batts had not been installed correctly and were on top of electrical fittings. As houses had been gutted by fire down south because of this situation, the matter was reported to the Masonic Homes management and has been discussed at several residents’ meetings .

Residents were concerned because a supposed insulation check had been made several months previously. On that occasion two “ French boys,” described by some as backpackers, climbed into ceilings and did something with the batts . In some instances, the batts had not been spread out and were still in wrapping.

Recently there was an incident when part of the wiring in a unit burnt out. An electrician was called and when the power was turned on after repair work , another section burnt out. A handyman ,believed not an electrician, has told residents he got up into the ceiling of a unit and made certain observations which prompted the call for an inspection .

The nearby nursing home had a long period of many night safety lights , costing about $60 each , blowing for no apparent reason. Back in February, Masonic Homes management infrormed residents it had been “ advised that all reports from the builders and contractors used in the complex show that all electrical installations were undertaken to the standard required”. The villas were built by McCracken Homes , of Adelaide.

Considerable Commonwealth and NT Government money was put into the Masonic Home building project . The NT Minister for the Aged , Rob Knight, recently made the Attorney–General as well , is believed not to be aware of this situation, but he is now, and should call for a report about this and other matters concerning residents . Meanwhile , the “ electrical inspection” of villa ceilings will be carried out by Combined Electrical , beginning Monday.

NT CAUSES WALL STREET HORROR

NEW YORK : Wall Street brokers began to jump from skyscrapers when the fearful news spread that the Batchelor butterfly farm has folded its wings . Coming on top of the EU financial imbroglio, it was the last straw for many in the stockmarket - casino industry. Gilt edged butterfly shares like NT Monarch Mirage (No Liability)Nigeria and Berrimah Brown Nose (No Liability ) Somalia plunged as if sprayed by Agent Orange. President Obama held an emergency meeting in the White House rose garden to try and save the global butterfly hedge fund racket. The president is expected to offer the Batchelor farm a Bank of America loan to prevent it from being pinned under glass when he visits Darwin and addresses a gathering of midges in the bug house.

TRAGIC DEATH RAISES SAFETY ISSUE

The sudden death of a man who drove buses between Perth and Darwin raises a public transport safety issue. In his 40s, the man was on a recreation break after driving from WA , walking along the Nightcliff beach, when he dropped dead from a heart attack. It raises the need for drivers of public transport vehicles to be medically fit. Collapsing behind the wheel of a bus on the highway could lead to multiple deaths.

DASHING NEW QANTAS LIVERY

Stunning new uniforms have been designed for Qantas pilots. As from next week, the average dashing airline captain will be decked out in this uplifting clobber,which cleverly captures the current spirit of Australia, especially the future of the nation’s workforce , should voters fall for the squadron of biscuit bombers planning to napalm the wide brown land . The handsome pilot symbolises the rugged Aussie image of a swaggie about to do 40 laps of an outback billabong, humming Waltzing Matilda and Help! , chased by arbitration traps, baying dogs, crocodiles . Each pilot will have a spare boot from the exclusive Tempe Tip Footrot Flats range with which to kick tyres before take off. Red ties are out as the pilot will need several knotted together to keep his trousers up . This flattering publicity shot was taken at the well kept Longreach runway – the historic Qantas launching pad. It shows a happy looking senior pilot with fashionable onion bags slung over his shoulders. Accessories include a blackened billycan and an empty Sunshine powdered milk tin - passed around as a spew bucket during bumpy flights – which adds to the outback ambience . The snazzy uniform - approved by Qantas board member, Biggles, who loops- the -loop on Viagra each leap year -has been designed by the highly paid fashion house , Bog Buddies of Ballykissangel. NEXT: Exclusive photo of new Qantas cabin staff in secret training

UNUSUAL DOLL AND SCHOOL BOOK

Christmas appears to have come early for Darwin agronomist, Robert Wesley-Smith, probably a big kid at heart, who recently returned from Timor Leste with an unusual hand-made doll. The dolls are sold to visitors to the island of Atauro, reached by ferry and outrigger canoe from Dili . The skirt, he says, is hand woven and must have required much intricate work. Over the years Wes has bought many textiles and the doll has been added to his collection, showcasing the skills of Timor-Leste.

Another item which would make a good Christmas gift : East Timor-From Little Things Big Things Grow, a book produced by the children of the Edmund Rice Primary School , Deleco, Timor-Leste, to be launched in Melbourne and Brisbane next month. In English and Tetum, it tells the school’s story.One of the children involved in the production , Edita de Jesus, will be present at the launches. Proceeds from sale of the book , lavishly illustrated by the children and local artists , will go to the school. Information can be obtained through www.littleeasttimor.com.au.