FEVERISH PHILANDERER EXPOSED IN GHOSTS FROM ELECTIONS PAST,#5

Affectionate  note  in  Perils of  Pauline .

Feeling  crook,  hot and   bothered  ,  on  antibiotics  , I  was   confronted   by  my  wife , a  mad   gleam  in   her   eyes ,  brandishing   a   piece  of   paper.  Waving  it   under  my  nose, she  announced  she  had   proof   of   the “ other  woman .” What????    Shown  the “proof” ,  which  had  been  placed  in  the   letterbox,  it  read ,  in  red  ink :   MY  DARLING  PETIE, WITH  ALL  MY  LOVE .  FORGET  ME   NOT ,  PAULINE.   Flabbergasted ,  I  immediately  pleaded  not  guilty ,Your  Worship, and   that  I  would  vigorously   fight  the  charge  in   Las  Vegas.   Turning  the   incriminating  document  over ,  I   discovered  it  was   the above   how  to   vote card  for   ranga  Pauline Hanson.   Very   funny  ...  I   think I    know  the  culprit   who   pulled  this   stunt  and   will  retaliate  by   slipping  a  death   adder   in  his  letter  box.

 Another shock in this  domestic drama  was "Pauline's" affectionate  reference to me as  Petie , instead  of  Peter . A  Pommie  wheeler  dealer  in Adelaide   used to embarrass me in public  at  packed  auctions  by  calling  me "Petie" -not very  manly  sounding.  One  of the many strange and highly suspect stories  he told me  was that he owned  a property  in  the backblocks of  Queensland  on  which  there  was  a  colony of  Rhesus  monkeys. In no uncertain fashion, I told him to pull the  other leg .   

  

 As   the  evening  progressed,   much  jungle  juice  consumed ,  I  signed  a  contract   saying  that  I  would  pay  him  the  sum of  $500,000  (this  figure   recently  checked)  for  a   pair  of   breeding   monkeys  , right ,  which  I  would  capture   on   the   property ,  probably  using   bananas   to   entice  the   said  monks  into  a  cage .   It   did   not   matter   that  I  was  not sure  how  you  tell  the  sex  of   a  monkey . An   inducement  to   sign  such  a  mad  deal  may  have  been a   promise  to  throw  in  an   album of  rare  penny  black stamps  as  well...  ( This odd post  by a   shy co-respondent  only  prepared to be  known as   Peter  X , who  currently  looks   like   a  laboratory  monkey used  in anthrax  tests  and  clearly  way   past   his  use  by  date .)