BISHOP PUTS BODY ON LINE FOR COUNTRY-TRIPS THE LIGHT FANTASTIC OVER INDONESIA

 Brave  Julie Bishop  briefing worried  PM  Abbott   about  her  Strictly  Ballroom  dance  routine to  ease  Indonesian  anger .

 Like  the French heroine , Joan of  Arc , Australia’s gyrating  Foreign Affairs  Minister , Julie Bishop , has come  up  with  a  brilliant  solution  to  the  uproar in Indonesia .  Through   top  secret  diplomatic  channels , Ms Bishop  has  told  Jakarta  she  will  arrange  for  SBY ,  Marty    and  other top  officials , outraged  by  the phone  tapping , to  partner   her  in  a  new  series of  Celebrity  Dancing on  TV .  The   privilege  of  doing  a  soft  shoe  shuffle  with  her  in  the   limelight  , she believes, will ease  the  outrage  of  the  Indonesian  establishment .  As  an  added  inducement to  forget  the  whole bothersome  issue , each  twirling  dignitary will be  given  a  pre-loved   Kardashian   handbag  and  a   pile of   junk  food vouchers   handed  out  by  true blue staff  taxi  dancers from  The  Australian.

In  an exclusive  interview  with  Little Darwin’s  Dance  Roundsman , Arthur Murray,  the  Foreign Minister said she was even prepared  to  do  the  Canadian Three  Step  with  annoying  reporters from  the   Indonesia  political  publication  Tempo, but  not the Jakarta  Post , which  wilfully and constantly  publishes   information  which  the  Abbott   wallflowers do  not  want  the   Australian  public  to   know.  The  massed   brass  bands  of  the   Australian  Defence  Force , under the baton  of  a recently  retired  three star general  , she revealed, will  provide  the   music   for   the    heady  dance   marathons ,  which  will  open with a   version  of  Waltzing  Matilda ,  urging  Indonesia  to  join in   the  Australian  Coalition's  fumbling  fandango , a  faux  foxtrot.