CANBERRA: In a drastic bid to stop the Australian economy from coming unstuck, Treasurer Josh Freydenberg , suffering from receding hair and dandruff, is planning to introduce an adhesive duty which helped Queensland become a dynamic state from the l960s through to the l980s. A sample of the innovative Bananaland adhesive duty stamps is displayed below .
Really a tax, the adhesive duty enabled Queensland to strengthen its border checkpoint, buy more batons for police controlling demonstrators and prevent southerners from taking over the Sunshine State .
In an exclusive interview with award winning political reporter Argus Tuft , Treasurer Freydenberg , wearing a Coronation Street hair net to prevent further depilation and looking more like Peter Dutton , explained the sudden adhesive duty move . He denied it would be a hit to the economy .
"What this nation needs more than a new 15 cent cigar is a miraculous 15 percent adhesive duty to pull all the loose fiscal threads together !" he shouted, smashing a tennis racquet on the ground in anger , like a certain Aussie ball basher .
He scoffed at the idea that it would greatly reduce the gross domestic product, which is increasingly gross at the present , as is the Coalition .
An adhesive duty would make Australia the envy of OECD countries . It would stimulate the follicles of the nude nut economy , provide more funds for election time pork- barrelling in National electorates and cause thankful voters to go clap happy in the streets with joy.
