Showing posts with label Queensland election freckled. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Queensland election freckled. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

NEWMAN GOVERNMENT’S CAMPAIGN TURNS INTO FRECKLED BANANA OUTBREAK


BRISBANE : With much fanfare, like the swearing in of  a  new Knight of the Garter,  Premier Campbell Newman, Treasurer  Tim “Slim” Nicholls  and Deputy Premier Jeff  Seeney  launch   election  costings .  Oops! There  is  a  $200million  “obvious typo”  in  the  document .

CANBERRA : Sir  Lancelot  says  Campbell Newman is a  strong leader , with strong plans , strong border  protection that  keeps   out  undesirables  from Canberra.

TOWNSVILLE : Enter  the  Tasmanian tigress , Senator Jacqui Lambie, who  sets up    a pill box  outside the Lavarack  military barracks and  reminds  the ADF  voters and passing motorists  to send a message  through  the Queensland election  that the Abbott  government   should  be  hung  high  and low  for  cutting  the  pay of troops .Onya Jacqui!

MOUNT  ISA : Out this way , the  hills  have  reverberated  for ages  to  the relayed  radio   comments  of  Sydney shockjocks. As a  result, the largely receptive audience is gunning for  Brisbane  and Canberra  and  Katter mark lll  of the KAP and dynasty  is riding high in the saddle . One of Little Darwin’s informants spends a lot of  time in the outback  and  said  Katter , not sure which one , walked into a pub at the “Curry”-Cloncurry- and said the  drinks were on him. As a result   Katter  is  king  out  in the parched  Injun terrain.  In this vast region   Federal Agriculture Minister  Barnaby Joyce  is  regarded as  usefull  as  tits on  a  bull and not  much  chop in a Canberra  Liberal  dominated  dogfight.

MAGNETIC ISLAND : The  ALP  island branch secretary ,Linda Wootten, a wildlife carer , has been  distracted from  campaigning  by a request from a woman to arrange the  removal  of  two  Death Adders. Trying to  remove  the  Newman  Government  is  a  mammoth  task ,  dwarfed  by  the problem of how  to  deal  with  an obvious  family  of   vipers  in   your  territory.A crocodile  has  been seen cruising about the island , Linda  draws the  line  at  tackling a  saurian .