PARLIAMENT HOUSE THREATENED BY GHASTLY ALIEN LIFEFORM , RATTUS BUBONICUS AND INCONTINENT OCTOPUS .

CANBERRA: Germ warfare  experts,  the Terminator , a  platoon of soldiers armed  with  flamethrowers    and   the  Ghostbusters  are  being organised   in a desperate  bid to rid  parliament  of  its  numerous   deadly health  hazards  during the  next  three  months .  This is the real reason why  so few  sitting days will  be  held  in  the corridors of  power . 

The Thing: A real , current threat

*Sensational scoop  by   award winning  political reporter  Argus Tuft.

Examination of  a repulsive  pile of steaming  entrails in the dangerous parliament house  West Wing found  this  grotesque , rapidly expanding   alien  life  form . It is thought to  have  been  brought  back  to  Earth  from  a  secret  flight to  Mars , Pluto and up Uranus  way by  pink  battery salesman ,  Elon  Musk . 

As everybody knows , Musk  is the only astronaut  in the world  who does not require  a spacesuit  when he  goes on an intergalactic  flight in his  custom built GMH  five - stage  rocket , built  from   Holden rustbucket  leftover parts .

Apart  from the hideous  monster from outer space-The Thing-  in the parliamentary  plumbing, there are  other threats to the well-being and   sanity of   inmates , viewers  of  Question Time , coupled with the chanting of those   hate  filled  Christian   happy  clappers  who   daily clean and  sharpen  their  fangs  and  tongues   with charcoal  powder .

 

Rodents  Galore, Ebola, Rising Bilge and Bile
 

 

There is a  gnawing feeling  that  only Ratsack  will solve  the Coalition rodent   problem.    On top of  that , there is evidence that  a  disease   spread  by  infected monkeys is  rampant in  Tory  circles  within  and without  the  billion   dollar  building . 

PM  Scott  Morrison  regularly reports seeing vermin scurrying about   the emperor's  robing room  as he  dresses  up  to impress  the unwashed  masses.  A  nasty  looking  pest  was  captured   scurrying out of  a hole ,  on the far   right ,  when  David Rowe , of the  Australian Financial Review , captured  the PM trying  out  his wardrobe for another  bus tour  of Queensland .   ScoMo prevented himself  from  being bitten on the toe  by the infected  critter on  this occasion  by placing  one  foot  in  the   top  hat  Governor-General  Sir John Kerr  wore to the  Melbourne   Cup   and the  other  in  a  Julie  Bishop  red   Italian  slipper   with   the  steel   toecap  and  hidden  , spring activated  knife.  

David Rowe, obviously suffering   rapture of  the  deep , drew this epic .Thank  God  for  Australia's cartoonists, the ABC Insiders   and  Media Watch  , they  help  counter  the  bug-eyed , right  wing , babbling   blowflies .