CANBERRA : The Coalition's Funk Bunker is still reeling from the PM's disastrous bus tour of Queensland which , while earning him thousands of frequent flyer points up in the sky club , won few votes on the ground where cane toads and prickly pear are a daily threat .
According to party strategists , the most damaging part of the Queensland trip was the PM dropping his can of beer at a public gathering . Anyone who can't hold a tube of FourX in Queensland is regarded as a State of Origin NSW cockroach ,unable to pass the pub test .
A Liberal Party spin doctor unsuccessfully tried to explain the embarrassing can dropping fiasco as being due to the fact the PM was holding it in a boxing glove that was going to be sent through the post to Clive Palmer as a gesture of Christian goodwill .
Another stunt that did not go over well in Queensland was the time ScoMo and Finance and Public Service Minister Senator Mathias Cormann made a big thing about drinking wussy boutique beer . Real Bananalander footy-loving men (hawk! , spit! ) don't touch the stuff , leave it for women to guzzle . Public servants responded by extending their lunch to three hours .
That woman , possibly a psychiatrist , at the Queensland event where she pointed at the PM and rotated her finger indicating he was suffering from jetlag , or something more serious, also went down as another massive negative in the autopsy on the non- bus election drive.
ANOTHER BUS TRIP PLANNED !!!!!
In exclusive breaking news , Little Darwin can reveal that the PM intends to campaign throughout the nation in this specially imported open air bus, which narrowly escaped being destroyed in the recent Paris riots .
In an interview with the PM under a Captain Cook statue ,where he was eating strawberries , wearing a back to front cap promoting prime Aussie tripe , he told this respected blog why he has chosen the unusual carriage from which to bestow many French kisses on lonely, dateless and desperate, unbalanced voters along the way .
As many Coalition members had indicated they were going to take French leave before the election , more likely next week , why not break out the champers and cognac and have an unobstructed view of the guillotine blade as it falls ?
