Reeling from an overdose of sugar , male members of the National Party are to be debagged , their trews replaced with velvet knickerbockers fitted with combination locks in a daring election fashion statement .
The new look Nat chap seen here is a close friend of Madame Pompadour who , we revealed , is conducting the exclusive Toorak school for Liberal ladies wanting to stand for the party and God Save the Queen at the next election , the date of which is tipped to be released by Scott Morrison during his trip to Bikini Atoll next week .
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| Phew!...Denmark!..Menindee! |
Meanwhile the nouveau National candidate is shown equipped with a peg to be worn when he is actually forced to venture into the boondocks and talk to very angry country types along the smelly Murray-Darling cesspool ... a top fishing spot down which Barnaby Joyce is said to have made several trips, one with a lost ewe, in a Venetian gondola .
Not all Nationals are happy with the new French looking clobber . They much prefer the old style sweaty armpit , Merino lined singlet and hessian jockstrap of yesteryear which won them many cushy jobs in the Coalition dominated by the upper class Libs .
According to the Wagga Wagga wrong font , dressing up like this guy will result in the Nationals losing the seat out of their knickerbockers at the election , and most of them will end up on the road like swaggies , having to raid the tucker box , 10 miles from Gundagai, which he thinks is out in the bush somewhere . It is not clear if Agriculture Minister David Littleproud supports the Little Lord Fauntleroy dressage .
