Hysterically campaigning again in Queensland , wearing a back to front jockstrap on his head , horizontal heavyweight champion Prime Minister "I love yuz all " Scott Morrison , has vowed to kiss every cane toad , including ones run over by Bill Shorten's bus. Roadkill , ScoMo declared, had every right to vote as did a demented seller of halal battered savs.
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Showing signs of the China Syndrome, radioactive Finance Minister Senator Mathias Cormann , endorsed the roadkill kiss-a-thon tactic, throwing in a glow in the dark bar of Belgian chocolate for every squashed toad and a quart of flat boutique beer.
Meanwhile , many unfortunate members of the public have been injured by the large number of Coalition politicians stampeding away from the government like frightened Snowy River brumbies as the Strontium 90 ( good for your bones ) election looms .
The latest scurrying Liberal tipped to depart for Mururoa Atoll on a leaky yacht is this prominent backbencher , known as Ratty to his fellow nesters because of his features , shown shivering at the thought of what will happen if he is silly enough to contest the election .
