With a faux Packer luxury yacht moored outside , this is the top secret Townsville studio for stunning remakes of several shipping disaster movies by a gyrating Bollywood outfit , according to our multi-award winning S(h)ipping Reporter , the only one north of La Perouse, with extensive contacts in the exotic subcontinent .
He can exclusively reveal that the first horror movie will be Titanic lll in which Clive of India will star , lashed to the wheel in hot pants . This will be followed by a dramatic reshoot of The Poseidon Adventure which will give terrified thirsty passengers the feeling that they are going down the gurgler with a cut out of Prince Harry .
He can exclusively reveal that the first horror movie will be Titanic lll in which Clive of India will star , lashed to the wheel in hot pants . This will be followed by a dramatic reshoot of The Poseidon Adventure which will give terrified thirsty passengers the feeling that they are going down the gurgler with a cut out of Prince Harry .
Then, dear ratepayers, will come the deeply concerning Ship of Fools in which a Xmas local government harbour cruise on a ferry to a nearby leper colony, where the afflicted wear tattered welcome banners as loincloths, strikes a reef and begins to sink at the ballot box in cyclonic weather. It will include a shipboard chaplain who carries an unusual Aboriginal Madonna carved from coal and urges the wailing sinners to repent or else be forced to eat rejected, over-sized Queensland bananas in Hell from here to Eternity .
These spectacular movies will provide openings for many dancing and prancing local actors who regularly perform before television cameras on the maddening media soft soap circuit.
The Indian filmmakers confidently predict the Ship of Fools alone will take more at the box office than Black Panther and Crocodile Dundee combined .
