| 
Hockey, Crabb  and  Lenin  in Kitchen Cabinet screen grab. | 
CANBERRA :  In 
a  shock  report  ,  the   dastardly 
ABC  today  revealed 
that  spooks  had  bugged  the “ boudoir”  of  now
 Federal 
Treasurer , Joe  Hockey.  This   stunning   revelation   has   rocked   and  shocked 
the  stumbling   Abbott
 Government    and
  is
 certain 
to  result   in  the
ABC   having  to
 rely on  chook  raffles  for  future
 funding .   Spooks   had  a  fit  watching 
Annabel  Crabb’s   Kitchen
 Cabinet 
series  in  which  she  was   shown 
Joe  Hockey’s “ boudoir”,  with its 
Bart  Simpson   pillow case 
and  a  nearby 
wall  hanging  of  Russian 
revolutionary  leader  Lenin ,which started  alarm bells 
ringing  in  spookland.     One  spy   observed that  Hockey is 
built  like  a  Russian  bear so could  not  be regarded as  a wee  Gremlin  from  the Kremlin.    A
  spook
 posing  as   an  inconspicuous  cleaner 
with  an eye- patch, wooden  leg 
, wearing  a 
mini-skirt  and  sporting an ill fitting ,  pre-loved merkin as a wig,
 immediately  visited  the  pad
 and 
inserted  hi–tech  bugs , disguised  as  cockroach bombs, throughout  the  Canberra  apartment . 
Subsequent   recordings   picked  up numerous  sounds
 like 
junk  food  and   midnight  snacks  being 
eaten   underneath  the 
doona  in  the goose-feather  bed.  Bart Simpson's  pillow  talk  taps  sounded   as  if   Duff   Beer  was  being   drunk,  resulting  in  belching   in  a  hard  to  decode   morse  code  variation. 
| 
Bart's  boudoir  belching  baffles  ASIO  and   Bletchley  Park . | 
 
