THIS IS NOT AN APRIL FOOLS' DAY JOKE

CANBERRA : PM Julia Gillard this morning announced that political commentator Ague Bolter will be rushed to Japan in an RAAF biscuit bomber to take command of the Fukushima nuclear power station disaster . Bolter is renowned for pouring endless cold water on anything that the Australian government does. Thus it will be a piece of fairy cake for him to flood the melting rods and bring the horrendous situation under control. “My supply of cold water is larger than the great artesian bore ,” brave Bolter bragged , despite having recently been belted with a nulla nulla by a masked man wearing a possum skin cape outside the exclusive Melbourne Club. The PM said blase Bolter regarded the nuclear power station emergency as a trivial matter , as he demonstrated on the ABC Insiders show, with a dismissive wave of his hand. In the unlikely event that Bolter showed signs of running out of wet stuff, PM Gillard said several other blustering right wing journalists were standing by to do a Clochemerle on the dangerous nuclear piles .