FASCISTS PLAN TERRITORY COUP

Territory tyrant, Adolf Schicklgruber, strutting about in uniform of Rear-Admiral,Larrakeyah Underwaterboten Poo Shooter Flotilla ,poses exclusively for Little Darwin ,his pain in the butt massaged by evil-looking personal valet, Colonel von Dum-Dum Demographics .

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KABUL : Australian troops are being rushed back to Darwin from Afghanistan to prevent a military coup by a band of fanatical Territory goosesteppers. The planned putsch is led by Adolf Schicklgruber who believes he is the most powerful person in the Territory .

In his cups, Adolf has been heard mutter that he can make or break anybody in the NT. Schicklgruber is furious that Darwin’s most irresponsible newspaper- The Cullen Bay Cock Up- failed to list him in its 500 Most Demented NT Dingbats .

In an exclusive interview with Little Darwin’s war correspondent, John "True Grit and Sand in the Vaseline Jar " Wayne, Adolf ranted ,“I am the maddest !” He threatened to overthrow the Territory government, burn down the Cullen Bay Cock Up and set up a quisling media regime.

Furthermore , he said he would launch his blitzkrieg soon , possibly April Fools’ Day, and begin by surrounding the Wedding Cake with his own panzer division , now hidden in the rural area , disguised as solar powered red brick dunnies , complete with wind -up ,made- in- China redback spiders .

After getting his autograph , Adolf’s long suffering mother told John Wayne her son became power mad after falling off his rocking horse onto his head when he was a toddler wearing his sister’s favourite pinafore.

In Canberra ,Defence Minister Stephen Smith, described the threat of a dictatorship in the Territory as undermining the very fabric of democracy. “No punk with delusions of grandeur will be allowed to seize power ,” he told us. “ While our forces are deployed overseas trying to spread democracy, it seems there are those within Australia who cynically pay lip service to democracy while plotting to usurp our freedoms.”

Minister Smith said it was reassuring that another Darwin newspaper, the NT News , strongly supports the democratic ideal, often trumpeting democracy in its editorials. Democracy, he said , meant government by the people, not one head case who thinks he is an Egyptian Sun god or Julius Caesar, fiddling like a bloody idiot while Rome burns.

Smith spat chips at an ASIO screening of a video showing Schicklgruber and his swaggering gang of brain-washed supporters carrying out military manoeuvres in the Mitchell Street nightclub precinct

All were wearing jungle greens , purple sneakers, cricket boxes, on the outside , singing Springtime in the Rockies, while line dancing in the middle of the street at 2am in front of puzzled and overworked police .

Schicklgruber’s adoring second in command, Ned Mussolini, had a nasty experience with a whopper crocodile during a night- time mock commando raid on the Lameroo pissoir . He is now in Royal Darwin Hospital being fitted with a field marshall’s wooden leg and swagger stick, giving up all hope of fathering fodder for the Fatherland. MORE EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS AND A FREE PACKET OF FRENCH LETTUCE IN OUR NEXT EXPOSE ABOUT THE DASTARDLY PLOT TO TURN THE TERRITORY INTO A DICTATORSHIP