( PANDANUS -THE ELUSIVE PIMPERNEL OF NT POLITICAL REPORTING )
Political comment, well written and provocative , was a strong selling point in the independent Darwin Star. Beating the Bulldust , a regular column by the pseudonymous Pandanus , had a big impact from the start ,resulting in howls of anger, critical letters and comments from conservative politicians who ruled the NT Legislative Assembly 17-2 .
The initial Bulldust column in the first 1976 edition of the paper made all the politicians sit up . It said it was time to axe some of the Executive members , Roger Ryan, with transport responsibilities, being singled out for perceived failure to pursue preservation of the North Australian Railway . Who is Marshall Perron ? asked Pandanus.(This implied criticism may have breathed some life into Perron because he rose from the silent to become the leader.)
In the case of Paul Everingham ,Pandanus branded as selfish and politically damaging his resignation from executive member status, but said he must be brought back as he had professional skills and intelligence to bolster the ministry .( Pandanus obviously knew how to pick a winner as it is now history that Everingham became the Chief Minister.)
The Member for Elsey , Les MacFarlane, was unhappy in his position as Speaker, Pandanus wrote ,and despite a penchant for extended telegrams that must have made him in the running for the Guinness Book of Records, he should be considered for a ministerial post .( MacFarlane once described a public toilet in Katherine as a sacred site and started a chain of protests .)
Roger Ryan not only copped flak from Pandanus but Canberra as well , and sent a letter of complaint to the Star editor ,as did Majority Leader , Dr Goff Letts , the latter making it clear that the peppery prose of Pandanus had the same impact as a dose of castor oil on some readers.
Under the heading MYSTERY MAN ,in another well read Star column ,STARSPOTS , it was reported that Ryan said all his clothes were flak-proof, but he would still like to know the identity of that “unprintable “ Pandanus. It continued: He’s not the only one . It should be obvious to anybody, even Roger, that the male or female Pandanus is or has been a pro writer, and has an intimate knowledge of local politics . We raised eyebrows when we saw his/ her copy for this issue , knowing that Mayor Ella Stack, will raise Hell. But in it went , because a curbed Pandanus might lose its sting.
Political comment, well written and provocative , was a strong selling point in the independent Darwin Star. Beating the Bulldust , a regular column by the pseudonymous Pandanus , had a big impact from the start ,resulting in howls of anger, critical letters and comments from conservative politicians who ruled the NT Legislative Assembly 17-2 .
The initial Bulldust column in the first 1976 edition of the paper made all the politicians sit up . It said it was time to axe some of the Executive members , Roger Ryan, with transport responsibilities, being singled out for perceived failure to pursue preservation of the North Australian Railway . Who is Marshall Perron ? asked Pandanus.(This implied criticism may have breathed some life into Perron because he rose from the silent to become the leader.)
In the case of Paul Everingham ,Pandanus branded as selfish and politically damaging his resignation from executive member status, but said he must be brought back as he had professional skills and intelligence to bolster the ministry .( Pandanus obviously knew how to pick a winner as it is now history that Everingham became the Chief Minister.)
The Member for Elsey , Les MacFarlane, was unhappy in his position as Speaker, Pandanus wrote ,and despite a penchant for extended telegrams that must have made him in the running for the Guinness Book of Records, he should be considered for a ministerial post .( MacFarlane once described a public toilet in Katherine as a sacred site and started a chain of protests .)
Roger Ryan not only copped flak from Pandanus but Canberra as well , and sent a letter of complaint to the Star editor ,as did Majority Leader , Dr Goff Letts , the latter making it clear that the peppery prose of Pandanus had the same impact as a dose of castor oil on some readers.
Under the heading MYSTERY MAN ,in another well read Star column ,STARSPOTS , it was reported that Ryan said all his clothes were flak-proof, but he would still like to know the identity of that “unprintable “ Pandanus. It continued: He’s not the only one . It should be obvious to anybody, even Roger, that the male or female Pandanus is or has been a pro writer, and has an intimate knowledge of local politics . We raised eyebrows when we saw his/ her copy for this issue , knowing that Mayor Ella Stack, will raise Hell. But in it went , because a curbed Pandanus might lose its sting.
MAYOR STACK IS WHISTLING IN THE WIND was the heading on the column in which the impertinent Pandanus took the civic mother to task for what was described as a “one woman” campaign against the use of marijuana . There were provocative statements throughout the piece which painted Darwin as being almost "knee deep " in the stuff. It went on to declare:There are Darwin teachers who smoke marijuana-and lawyers,architects, engineers, doctors , journalists and trade union officials...Pandanus made a point of asking Dr Stack, a smoker, how many doctors gave up cigarette smoking as a result of anti-tobacco campaigns .
When Star proprietors Kerry and Sandra Byrnes were doing the business and heady social rounds of the throbbing metropolis they were frequently asked to confidentially reveal the identity of the mysterious columnist who seemed to be everywhere , all knowing , like the Scarlet Pimpernel , but never unmasked . Some confidently said they knew the name of the person responsible for penning the pieces -adding a few colourful expletives or praising the sniper, depending on their political leanings.
When Star proprietors Kerry and Sandra Byrnes were doing the business and heady social rounds of the throbbing metropolis they were frequently asked to confidentially reveal the identity of the mysterious columnist who seemed to be everywhere , all knowing , like the Scarlet Pimpernel , but never unmasked . Some confidently said they knew the name of the person responsible for penning the pieces -adding a few colourful expletives or praising the sniper, depending on their political leanings.
In a blast from the past, Little Darwin recently came into the possession of a 30 year old typescript for a Pandanus column which illustrates his /her writing style . Held together by a now rusty glider clip, with some suspicious, unsightly brown marks ( hopefully not the result of a swig of castor oil ?) on the creased pages , the article reads as follows :
JUDGE DOES JUSTICE TO PAUL’S DRAWL
If ever the chairman of the Commonwealth Grants Commission, Mr Justice Else-Mitchell, feels like going into the entertainment business he should start his gig in Darwin. While in Darwin , the learned judge attended a special dinner for the commission which was hosted by the NT Treasury. (Incidently, no minister of the Everingham government was present ,oddly enough).
Mr Else-Mitchell reduced the gathering of some 100 persons to giggles and tears when he imitated the Chief Minister’s well known-drawl. Paul’s drawl act by Mr Else - Mitchell broke up the audience , which included one usually stony faced local judge. People were holding their sides , and one prominent Darwin accountant had tears running down his face.
At first, the stunned audience could not believe their ears-here was the judge sending up the Chief Minister ! Then the titters started , and an avalanche of mirth followed as Mr Else-Mitchell droned on. The judge’s amazing performance started off in usual speechifying fashion. Mr Else-Mitchell said ,"I was talking to your Chief Minister this morning and he said---.“Then he lapsed into the Chief Minister’s drawl.
Pandanus suggests that Treasury invite Mr Else-Mitchell back again soon for another dinner but charge an admission fee of $50 a head. I reckon the revenue from a prawn night with Mr Justice Else-Mitchell and his now famous Chief Minister’s act could raise enough booty to allow the halving of Territory taxes.
While on the subject of the Grants Commission ,Pandanus believes the NT Government should read Dale Carnegie’s work about winning friends and influencing people. The NT Government put up a case to the Grants Commission for a mere $20million extra in the kitty, but couldn’t arrange to give the commission sufficient copies for it submission.
Seems an odd way to convince people that you need an extra 20 million. Then again,it may have been a way of saying "Look, we have so little dough,we can’t even run off enough copies of our begging submission for an extra $20million." Still, thats showbiz.
Pandanus sprang to the defence of Goff Letts after he was tongue lashed-called “a bloody fool”- by the Leader of Government Business in the House of Representatives, Ian Sinclair, for voting against the conservative line at the Australian Constitutional Convention in Hobart , in respect to a move to empower the Senate to block supply. Sinclair was reported as saying Letts had set back the Territory’s bid for statehood by 10 years by not following the party line .Three “rebel” Tasmanian Liberals had voted the same way as Letts.
Pandanus expressed the view that David (Letts) had “massacred” Goliath (Sinclair , Sinkers for short) in the matter . The column ended : We can do without men like Sinclair-without his views, without his interference , without his arrogance , and most certainly without his presence in the Territory .
Pandanus expressed the view that David (Letts) had “massacred” Goliath (Sinclair , Sinkers for short) in the matter . The column ended : We can do without men like Sinclair-without his views, without his interference , without his arrogance , and most certainly without his presence in the Territory .
In the interests of balanced reporting, the Star ran a profile of Roger Ryan which came to the conclusion that he was a nice, ambitious bloke , who just wanted to tie Pandanus to the railway track in the same way as the dastardly villian , Oil Can Harry, had done with poor Pearl Pureheart in the silent movie days.
